Why did the carpenter fall asleep on the job?

He was board.
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What did Tennessee?
The same thing Arkansas.
What did Delaware?

Her New Jersey.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and God?

God doesn't think he's a lawyer.
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Do you know what the Queen's father was called?

King.
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What do you get if you cross an elephant and a kangaroo?

Big holes all over Australia!
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Why does a giraffe have such a long neck?

Because his feet stink
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What does a witch use to keep her hair up?

Scarespray!
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So I went to the Chinese restaurant and this duck came up to me with a red rose and says "Your eyes sparkle like diamonds".

I said, "Waiter, I asked for a-ROMATIC duck".
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What is an astronauts favorite key on the keyboard?

The space bar!
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