Why did the carpenter fall asleep on the job?

He was board.
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What do you call a dinosaur that smashes everything in its path?

Tyrannosaurus wrecks.
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How many alto sax players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five: one to handle the bulb and four to contemplate how David Sanborn would've done it.
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What did the man on the beach say to Michael Jackson?

Get out of my sun!
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What is Donald Trumps campaign slogan?

"A complex world demands complex hair."
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What do you call a dog that likes bubble baths?

A shampoodle
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Why did the tomato blush?

Because he saw the salad dressing!
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A neutron walks into a bar. He asks the bartender, "How much for a beer?"

The bartender offers him a warm smile and says, "For you, no charge".
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How many professors does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one, but they get three tech. reports out of it.
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