Why did the carpenter fall asleep on the job?

He was board.
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Why couldn't the pirates play cards?

They were sitting on the deck!
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H2O is water and H2O2 is hydrogen peroxide. What is H2O4?

Drinking.
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How much does a hipster weigh?

An instagram.
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Why did Mickey Mouse get whacked in the head?

coz Donald ducked
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Why does everybody like Frosty the Snowman?

Because he is so cool!
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What do you get when you cross a Cocker Spaniel,
a Poodle and a ghost?

A cocker poodle boo.
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How many data base people does it take to change a light bulb?

Three:

One to write the light bulb removal program,
one to write the light bulb insertion program, and

one to act as a light bulb administrator to make sure nobody else tries to change the light bulb at the same time.
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Why did the football coach go to the bank?

To get his quarterback.
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