Why did the carpenter fall asleep on the job?

He was board.
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What do you do with a dead chemist?

Barium
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What did the flag say to the pole?

Nothing, it just waved.
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What do have when a lawyer is buried up to his neck in sand?

Not enough sand.
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When one physicist asks another, "What's new?" what's the typical response?

C over lambda.
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What type of cars do elves drive?

Toy-otas.
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What do camels use to hide themselves?

Camelflauge
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I bought some shoes off of a drug dealer. I don't know what he laced them with

but I've been trippin' all day.
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What do you call a deer with no eyes?

No I deer
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