Why did the carpenter fall asleep on the job?

He was board.
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What do you call a baby bear with no teeth?

A gummy bear
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What clothes does a house wear?

Address.
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I'll tell you what I love doing more than anything: trying to pack myself in a small suitcase.

I can hardly contain myself.

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How do crows stick together in a flock?

Velcrow.
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Why did the doughnut shop close?

The owner got tired of the (w)hole business!
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Which 2 food groups make up Donald Trumps diet?

Meat and Democrats!
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How many Union Lighting Technicians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

It's not a bulb, it's a globe.
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How did the telephone propose to his girlfriend?

He gave her a ring.
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