Why did the carpenter fall asleep on the job?

He was board.
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What is black and white and red all over?

A skunk with a rash.
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A young blonde woman is distraught because she fears her husband is having an affair, so she goes to a gun shop and buys a handgun. The next day she comes home to find her husband in bed with a beautiful redhead. She grabs the gun and holds it to her own head. The husband jumps out of bed, begging and pleading with her not to shoot herself.

The blonde responds to the husband, "Shut up...you're next!"
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What do you call a cat sitting on the beach on Christmas Eve?

Sandy Claws.
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How many skunks does it take to make a big stink?

A phew.
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How many Sound Recordists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

WHAT?
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What did the frog say when he heard "time flies when you are having fun?"

Time is fun when you're having flies
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What do you call a dinosaur at the rodeo?

A Broncosaurus or a Tyrannosaurus Tex.
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If H2O is the formula for water, what is the formula for ice?

H2O cubed.
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