Why did the carpenter fall asleep on the job?

He was board.
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How many UFO buffs does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. You don't believe me do you? I've got photos! See that big blob? Well, just squint your eyes a bit. . . .
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How many data base people does it take to change a light bulb?

Three:

One to write the light bulb removal program,
one to write the light bulb insertion program, and

one to act as a light bulb administrator to make sure nobody else tries to change the light bulb at the same time.
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When is a car not a car?

When it turns into a garage.
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Why did the Christmas tree go to the barber?

It needed to be trimmed.
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What is a cat's favorite breakfast?

Mice krispies
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How did Noah see the animals in the Ark at night?

With flood lighting.
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What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

Roberto.
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How many mice does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Only two, but the hard part is getting them into the light bulb.
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