Why did the carpenter fall asleep on the job?

He was board.
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What do you call a scared train?

A fright train!
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What letter can you drink?

T (tea)
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How many Iraqis does it take to screw in a light bulb?

It doesn't matter, they don't have any electricity any more.
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What has 6 eyes but can't see?

3 blind mice.
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What did one magnet say to the other?

I find you very attractive.
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I swear, the other day I bought a packet of peanuts, and on the packet it said "may contain nuts." Well, YES! That's what I bought the buggers for!

You'd be annoyed if you opened it and a socket set fell out!"

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What do you call the best butter on the farm?

A goat.
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Which runs faster, hot or cold water?

Hot, because you can catch cold.
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