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Why did the carpenter fall asleep on the job?
He was board.
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What did one cow say to the other?
Mooooooove over
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What do sea monsters eat for lunch?
Fish and ships.
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How do you know an elephant has been in your refrigerator?
There are footprints in the butter.
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Why do you bring fish to a party?
Because it goes good with chips.
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Why does the law society prohibit sex between lawyers and their clients?
To prevent clients from being billed twice for essentially the same service.
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How many Macintosh users does it take to change a light bulb?
None. You have to replace the whole motherboard.
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Why did the turtle cross the road?
To get to the shell station.
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What did one egg say to the other egg?
Let's get crackin!
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