Why did the carpenter fall asleep on the job?

He was board.
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"Mommy, everyone says I look like a werewolf."

"Please be quiet and comb your face."
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What's round and bad-tempered?

A vicious circle.
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The other day I sent my girlfriend a huge pile of snow.

I rang her up, I said "Did you get my drift?".
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Why shouldn't Donald Trump rag on illegal immigrants?

Because an undocumented worker has been living on his head for the past 2 decades!
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What do you call a pig who knows karate?

Porkchop
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What did the teddy bear say when it was offered dessert?

No thank you, I'm stuffed.
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What is Donald Trump "really" trying to do?

Make America Hate Again.
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What kind of mouse does not eat, drink, or even walk?

A computer mouse.
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