Why did the carpenter fall asleep on the job?

He was board.
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I went to the doctors the other day and I said, 'Have you got anything for wind?'

So he gave me a kite.

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What's a puppy's favorite kind of pizza?

Pupperoni.
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What kind of phones do people in jail use?

Cell phones
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What's the difference between a fish and a piano?

You can't tuna fish.
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What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car?

Carlos.
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Where can you find a good lawyer?

In the cemetery
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How do you cut a wave in half?

Use a sea saw.
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How many dull people does it take to change a light bulb?

One.
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