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Why did the carpenter fall asleep on the job?
He was board.
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What is the chemical formula for "banana"?
BaNa2
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How many brewers does it take to change a light bulb?
About one third less than for a regular bulb.
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What's the difference between a dead skunk in the road and a dead lawyer in the road?
There are skid marks in front of the skunk.
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What did one hair say to the other?
It takes two to tangle!
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Knock, knock
Who's there?
Merry.
Merry who?
Merry Christmas!
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What does Santa like to do in the garden?
Hoe, hoe, hoe!
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A young blonde woman is distraught because she fears her husband is having an affair, so she goes to a gun shop and buys a handgun. The next day she comes home to find her husband in bed with a beautiful redhead. She grabs the gun and holds it to her own head. The husband jumps out of bed, begging and pleading with her not to shoot herself.
The blonde responds to the husband, "Shut up...you're next!"
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What`s black & white & red all over?
An embarrased mime!
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