Why did the carpenter fall asleep on the job?

He was board.
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How many folk musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Seven. One to change it and the other six to sing about how good the old one was.
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When is a car not a car?

When it turns into a garage.
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Why can't hippos ride bicycles?

Bike helmets don't fit hippos
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What do Santa's elves drive?

Minivans.
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How do you stop an elephant from charging?

Take away his credit card
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Did you know that you can cool yourself to -273.15 Degrees C

and still be 0k?
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What happened to the man who was stopped for having sodium chloride and a nine-volt in his car?

He was booked for a salt and battery.
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How do you fix a broken Tuba.

With a tuba glue.
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