Why did the carpenter fall asleep on the job?

He was board.
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How many teamsters does it take to change a light bulb?

``Twelve. Ya got a problem with that?''
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How does an attorney sleep?

First he lies on one side, then he lies on the other.
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What do cats and dogs call Santa Clause?

Santa paws!!!
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What kind of dog always runs a fever?

A hot dog
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What kind of music do planets sing?

Neptunes!
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Where does a polarbear keep its money?

In a snow bank!
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What kind of dog has a bark but no bite?

A Dogwood
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What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?

One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter.
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