Why did the carpenter fall asleep on the job?

He was board.
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What do you get if you cross a cat with a dark horse?

Kitty Perry

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Why does the law society prohibit sex between lawyers and their clients?

To prevent clients from being billed twice for essentially the same service.
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So I went to the Chinese restaurant and this duck came up to me with a red rose and says "Your eyes sparkle like diamonds".

I said, "Waiter, I asked for a-ROMATIC duck".
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What does a cat call a hummingbird?

Fast food.
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What did the carrot say to the rabbit?

Do you want to grab a bite?
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What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?

Frostbite.
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How do Eskimos make their beds?

With sheets of ice and blankets of snow.
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What kind of flower has lips?

Two-lips!
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