Why did the carpenter fall asleep on the job?

He was board.
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Did you hear about the restaurant on the moon?

Great food, no atmosphere.
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What do you call lending money to a bison?

A buff-a-loan
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What's the difference between a dead skunk in the road and a dead lawyer in the road?

There are skid marks in front of the skunk.
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What cell phones do travelling nuns use?

Virgin mobile.
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What did the Mass Spectrometer say to the Gas Chromatograph?

Breaking up is hard to do.
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How many Yuppies (WASPs) does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to call the electrician, and one to mix the drinks.
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What happened to the man who was stopped for having sodium chloride and a nine-volt in his car?

He was booked for a salt and battery.
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Why don't bears wear shoes?

What's the use, they'd still have bear feet
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