Why did the carpenter fall asleep on the job?

He was board.
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What did the octopus say to his girlfriend when he proposed?

Can I have your hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand in marriage?
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There's two fish in a tank, and one says "How do you drive this thing?"
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What did the drummer get on his I.Q. Test?

Saliva
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Why did the dinosaur cross the road?

The chicken wasn't around yet.
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How many sopranos does it take to change a light bulb?

Three. One to climb the ladder while the second kicks the ladder out from under her. And the third to say, "I knew that was too high for you dear."
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What's a royal pardon?

It's what the queen says after she burps.
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I saw this bloke chatting up a cheetah;

I thought, "He's trying to pull a fast one".

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What do frogs order when they go to a restaurant?

French Flies.
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