Why did the carpenter fall asleep on the job?

He was board.
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Why was the cat afraid of a tree?

Because of the bark
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What do you call 5000 dead lawyers at the bottom of the ocean?

A good start!
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Red sky at night: shepherd’s delight.

Blue sky at night: day.
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What do you call a slow skier?

A slopepoke!
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What emotional disorder does a gas chromatograph suffer from?

Separation anxiety.
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Kim Kardashian is saddled with a huge arse.

but enough about Kanye West.
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What do you get when you drop a piano on an army base?

A Flat Major

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What do you see when you look into Trump's eyes?

Answer: The back of his head.
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