Why did the carpenter fall asleep on the job?

He was board.
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How many bureaucrats does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to assure the everything possible is being done while the other screws the bulb into the water faucet.
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What is the difference between a lawyer and a rooster?

When a rooster wakes up in the morning, its primal urge is to cluck defiance.
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How many folk musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Seven. One to change it and the other six to sing about how good the old one was.
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What's the only difference between Donald Trump and Bozo the Clown?

Bozo The Clown has real hair on his head.
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Why did the dinosaur cross the road?

The chicken wasn't around yet.
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I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.

I’m just doing it for kicks.
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What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?

One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter.
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H2O is water and H2O2 is hydrogen peroxide. What is H2O4?

Drinking.
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