Why did the carpenter fall asleep on the job?

He was board.
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What is the opposite of a restaurant?

A workaraunt.
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What do you call the best butter on the farm?

A goat.
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What do you call a deer with no eyes?

No I deer
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How many "pro-lifers" does it take to change a light bulb?

Six: two to screw in the bulb and four to testify that it was lit from the moment they began screwing.
None; the bulb will change itself when it is ready.
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Which search engine is popular amongst mice?

Ask Cheese.
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What do chemists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms?

A ferrous wheel.
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What do you get when you cross a duck with a vampire?

Count Quackula!
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Why does hamburger yield lower energy than steak?

Because it's in the ground state.
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