Why did the carpenter fall asleep on the job?

He was board.
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What did Michael Jackson tell the little boy?

"The way you make me feel, it really turns me on!"
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What's a royal pardon?

It's what the queen says after she burps.
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Why did the sea monster eat five ships that were carrying potatoes?

No one can eat just one potato ship.
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I just watched a program about beavers.

It was the best dam program I've ever seen.
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What kind of eggs does a wicked chicken lay?

Deviled eggs.
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How do you keep a skunk from smelling?

Plug its nose.
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How is Donald Trump going to create middle class jobs?

By paying them to cheer for him during campaign events.
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What did one magnet say to the other?

I find you very attractive.
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