Why did the carpenter fall asleep on the job?

He was board.
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Why do fish live in salt water?

Because pepper makes them sneeze
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What goes around a haunted house and never stops?

A fence.
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What do postal workers do when they're mad?

They stamp their feet.
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What is on the ground and also a hundred feet in the air?

A centipede on its back!
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What's an alligator's favorite drink?

Gator-Ade.
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How many Mensans does it take to tell Mensa light bulb jokes?

Five. One to tell the joke and one to get it.
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What kind of cars do cats drive?

Catillacs
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How many engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

First they have to agree on which is better; the analog bulb or a digital bulb.
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