Why did the carpenter fall asleep on the job?

He was board.
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How many magicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Depends on what you want to change it into.
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What does new age music sound like played backwards?

New age music.

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Where do you get whales weighed?

At the Whale-weigh station.
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How many Carl Sagans does it take to change a light bulb?

Billllyuns and billllyuns. Light bulbs are part of the interstellar "goo" that pervades our universe; they are star stuff.
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What has four legs but never stands?

A Chair!
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What is the name of 007's Eskimo cousin?

Polar Bond.
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How many charismatics does it take to change a light bulb?

Three - one to cast the bulb into the outer darkness, and two to catch it when it falls.
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What do you call a dinosaur in a car accident?

A tyrannosauraus wreck
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