Why did the carpenter fall asleep on the job?

He was board.
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What has 4 wheels, gives milk, and eats grass.

A cow on a skateboard.
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Why did the elephant leave the circus?

He was tired of working for peanuts.
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What do you call a cow that eats your grass?

A lawn moo-er.
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How many nuclear engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

Seven. One to install the new bulb and six to figure out what to do with the old one for the next 10,000 years.
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Why did Mozart kill his chickens?

Because they always ran around going "Bach! Bach! Bach!"

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What do you do when your chair breaks?

Call a chairman.
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What do you call a messy hippo?

A hippopota-mess
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If H2O is the formula for water, what is the formula for ice?

H2O cubed.
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