Why did the carpenter fall asleep on the job?

He was board.
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Who earns a living by driving his customers away?

A taxi driver.
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How many times does Bill Clinton change a light bulb?

No one knows. Republicans automatically disbelieve him, and no one can ever trust a stinking liberal anyway.
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What kind of ties can't you wear?

Railroad ties.
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How do you make a rock float?

Put it in a glass with some ice cream and root beer.
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Have you seen the new HGTV show about the Whitehouse makeover?

It's called "Trump It or Dump It".
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There are 10 kinds of people in the world.

Those who read binary and those who don't.
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What is "HIJKLMNO"?

H2O.
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What kind of table has no legs.

A multiplication table.
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