Why did the carpenter fall asleep on the job?

He was board.
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How many 2nd AD's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Uh...standby, I'll check on that.
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If the Silver Surfer and Iron Man team up, they'd be alloys.
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How many actors does it take to screw in a light bulb?

100: One to do it and ninety-nine to say "I could've done that."
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Why did the cow cross the road?

To get to the udder side.
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What did one eye say to the other?

Between you and me, something smells.
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Which day do fish hate?

Fryday
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What do you do when 50 zombies surround your house?

Hope it's Halloween!!
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My phone will ring at 2 in the morning, and my wife'll look at me and go, "Who's that calling at this time?' "I don't know!

If I knew that we wouldn't need the bloody phone!"

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