Why did the carpenter fall asleep on the job?

He was board.
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What did Donald Trump do before criticizing illegals?

He made sure his pools were clean and his lawns were mowed.
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When did the fly fly?

When the spider spied her!

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Why don't aliens eat clowns?

Because they taste funny!

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How many actors does it take to screw in a light bulb?

100: One to do it and ninety-nine to say "I could've done that."

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Where are sharks from?

Finland.

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A priest, a rabbi and a vicar walk into a bar.

The barman says, "Is this some kind of joke?"

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What do vampires take when they are sick?

Coffin drops!
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How many editors of Poor Richard's Almanac does it take to replace a light bulb?

"Many hands make light work."

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