Why did the carpenter fall asleep on the job?

He was board.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a gigolo?

A gigolo only screws one person at a time.
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What airline does Donald Trump aspire to fly?

Hair Force One!
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Why can't lawyers do NMR?

Bar magnets have poor homogeneity.
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What do you do if your dog chews a dictionary?

Take the words out of his mouth
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Kim Kardashian is saddled with a huge arse.

but enough about Kanye West.
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How do Eskimos make their beds?

With sheets of ice and blankets of snow.
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What starts with E, ends with E and only has one letter?

An envelope.
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I asked the guy sitting next to me if he had any Sodium Hypobromite

He said NaBrO
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