Why did the carpenter fall asleep on the job?

He was board.
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Why did the basketball player bring his suitcase to his game?

Because he traveled a lot.
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How many Bratzlaver Chassidim does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They will never find one that burned as brightly as the first one.
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What part of a fish weighs the most?

The scales.
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Why did the rooster cross the road?

To prove he wasn't a chicken!
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What is a tree's favorite drink?

Root beer.
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What's 182 feet tall and made out of pepperoni and cheese?

The leaning tower of Pizza.
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Why did the scientist take out his doorbell?

He wanted to win the no-bell prize!
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What do you get when you cross a duck with a vampire?

Count Quackula!
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