Why did the carpenter fall asleep on the job?

He was board.
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How many efficiency experts does it take to replace a light bulb?

None. Efficiency experts replace only dark bulbs.
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Where do fish keep their money?

In a river bank
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Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

He got caught peeping on a test.
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How does Donald Trump intend to spice up the Republican Convention?

By relocating it to a casino!
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Where does an elephant pack his luggage?

In his trunk
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If the Silver Surfer and Iron Man team up, they'd be alloys.
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How many existentialists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two: One to screw it in and one to observe how the light bulb itself symbolizes a single incandescent beacon of subjective reality in a netherworld of endless absurdity reaching out toward a maudlin cosmos of nothingness.
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What did the ghost say to the other ghost?

Do you believe in humans?
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