Why did the carpenter fall asleep on the job?

He was board.
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If you drop a white hat into the Red Sea, what does it become?

Wet.
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How is Donald Trump going to shut down the Department of Education?

By renaming it Trump University.
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Why did the people not like the restaurant on the moon?

Because there was no atmosphere.
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What do you call a young army?

Infantry.
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What do you call a dinosaur that wears a cowboy hat and boots?

Tyrannosaurus Tex.
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What kind of fly has a frog in its throat?

A hoarse fly!
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A mexican magician tells the audience he will disappear on the count of 3. He says, "Uno, dos..." and then

*poof* … he disappeared without a tres!
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I tried nutella on some salmon

got salmonella.
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