Why did the carpenter fall asleep on the job?

He was board.
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What's green and flies as fast as a speeding bullet?

Super Pickle!
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What part of a fish weighs the most?

The scales.
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Why did the doughnut shop close?

The owner got tired of the (w)hole business!
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What is black and white and red all over?

A skunk with a rash.
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What is very funny and makes dogs itch?

The Flea Stooges!
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How do you make a million dollars singing jazz?

Start with two million.

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Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly. But when they lit a fire in the craft, it sank,

proving once and for all that you can't have your kayak and heat it.

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What kind of cars do cats drive?

Catillacs
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