Why did the carpenter fall asleep on the job?

He was board.
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How do you cut a wave in half?

Use a sea saw.
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What happened when the butcher backed up into his meat grinder?

he got a little behind in his work.
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How many grips does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two: One to hold it, one to hammer it in.
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If the Silver Surfer and Iron Man team up, they'd be alloys.
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What do you call a cow that plays a musical instrument?

A Moo-sician!

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What's the difference between a dead skunk in the road and a dead lawyer in the road?

There are skid marks in front of the skunk.
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How many believable, competent, ``just-right-for-the-job'' presidential candidates does it take to change a light bulb?

It's going to be a dark 4 years, isn't it?
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a herd of buffalo?

The lawyer charges more.
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