Why did the carpenter fall asleep on the job?

He was board.
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What do you get when you cross a stream and a brook?

Wet feet.
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Why don't mountains get cold in the winter?

They wear snowcaps.
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Why was the woman fired from the car assembly line?

She was caught taking a brake.
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How did the chemist survive the famine?

By subsisting on titrations.
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What is a shark's favorite sandwich?

Peanut butter and jellyfish.
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What is the definition of a shame (as in "that's a shame")?

When a busload of lawyers goes off a cliff.
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If H20 is water, what is H204?

Drinking, bathing, washing, swimming, etc.
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What element is a girl's future best friend?

Carbon.
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