Why did the carpenter fall asleep on the job?

He was board.
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A pair of eyebrows walked into a shop. The assistant asked, "Can I help you?"

The eyebrows replied, "no, we are just browsing"
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What do you get if Bach falls off a horse but has the courage to get on again and continue riding?

Bach in the saddle again.

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How many grips does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two: One to hold it, one to hammer it in.
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What goes 99 thump,99 thump,99 thump?

A centipede with a wooden leg.
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What did one egg say to the other egg?

Let's get crackin!
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What did the man on the beach say to Michael Jackson?

Get out of my sun!
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What do you call a gorilla wearing earmuffs?

Anything you like, he can't hear you.
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Why did the calendar write its will?

Its days were numbered.
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