Why did the cat go to Minnesota?

To get a mini soda
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I've got a friend who's fallen in love with two school bags,

he's bisatchel.

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How many shaggy dogs does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Fewer than it takes to screw in a heavy bulb.
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"Mommy, everyone says I look like a werewolf."

"Please be quiet and comb your face."
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What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon!
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What goes around a haunted house and never stops?

A fence.
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Two aerials meet on a roof - fall in love - get married.

The ceremony was rubbish - but the reception was brilliant.

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What's the difference between Donald Trump and Ronald Reagan?

If Trump gets Alzheimers his IQ will go up.
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What do you call a messy hippo?

A hippopota-mess
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