Why did the cat go to Minnesota?

To get a mini soda
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What do you call a thieving alligator?

A crookodile
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What do you call a dinosaur in a car accident?

A tyrannosauraus wreck
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Why did the cow go to outer space?

To visit the milky way.
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Why did God make snakes just before lawyers?

To practice.
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Why was the baseball game so hot?

Because all the fans left!
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Why did the strawberry call 911?

It was in a jam!
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How many (Generals/Politicians) does it take to change a light bulb?

1,000,001: One to change the bulb and 1,000,000 to rebuild civilization to the point where they need light bulbs again.
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Two girls were born on the same day, same year, same parents, except they are not twins. Explain:

They are triplets.
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