Why did the cat go to Minnesota?

To get a mini soda
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What creature is smarter than a talking parrot?

A spelling bee!
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What does a skeleton say before dinner?

Bone appetit!
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How many frat guys does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Three: One to screw it in, and the other two to help him down off the keg.
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What do you call a baby bear with no teeth?

A gummy bear
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What did one volcano say to the other?

I lava you.
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H2O is water and H2O2 is hydrogen peroxide. What is H2O4?

Drinking.
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What is the easiest way to count a herd of cattle?

With a cowculator.
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What happened when the lion ate the comedian?

He felt funny.
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