Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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There was a rooster sitting on a top of a barn. If it laid an egg, which way would it roll?

Roosters don't lay eggs!
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What did the momma buffalo say to her son before he went to school?

Bison
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How many football players does it take to change a light bulb?

The entire team! And they all get a semester's credit for it!
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What does the winner of the race lose?

His breath.
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What do you call a fish without an eye?

Fsh
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Why should we call the President, Donald "Duck" Trump?

Because you better duck when he's pissed.
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