Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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What is Donald Trumps campaign slogan?

"A complex world demands complex hair."
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Why did the cow cross the road?

To get to the udder side.
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It’s Hans free.
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Why does a dog wag its tail?

Because there's no one else to wag it for him.
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How do you cut a wave in half?

Use a sea saw.
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Why do ducks fly south?

Because it's too far to walk!
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