Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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What do you call a dinosaur in a car accident?

A tyrannosauraus wreck
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Why did the orange stop in the middle of the hill?

It ran out of juice!
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How many apples grow on a tree?

All of them.
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How many Bell Labs vice presidents does it take to change a light bulb?

That's proprietary information. The answer is available from AT&T on payment of license fee (binary only).
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How many Cabbage Patch dolls does it take to change a light bulb?

The question is irrelevant, since you couldn't find the dolls even if you knew how many. (Note: Well, this was a good joke in 1983-84. . . .)
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What kind of dogs do chemists have?

Laboratory Retrievers
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