Why did the chicken cross the clothing store?

To get to the other size!
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Why do chemists enjoy working with ammonia?

Because it's pretty basic stuff.
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How many junkies does it take to change a light bulb?

Oh wow, is it, like, dark, man?
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How do you get a dog to stop digging in the garden?

Take away his shovel
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Why do they bury lawyers under 20 feet of dirt?

Because deep down, they're really good people.
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What do you call a wheel made of iron?

A ferrous wheel.
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What's the difference between a fish and a piano?

You can't tuna fish.
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How did the telephone propose to his girlfriend?

He gave her a ring.
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What do you call a chicken in the 1960's?

A funky chicken.
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What did the farmer call the cow that would not give him any milk?

An udder failure.
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