Why did the chicken cross the clothing store?

To get to the other size!
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Why was the mole of oxygen molecules excited when he walked out of the singles bar?

He got Avogadro's number!
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What's worse than a worm in your apple?

Half a worm.
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How many chiropractors does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one, but it takes six visits.
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How do you make a cello sound beautiful?

Sell it and buy a violin

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What did the farmer call the cow that would not give him any milk?

An udder failure.
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Where do orcas hear music?

Orca-stras
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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to do the screwing, and one to hear the confession.
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How many APL hackers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. There's a primitive for that.
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What do you call a girl with a frog on her head?

Lilly.
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