Why did the chicken cross the playground?

To get to the other slide!
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I'm on a whiskey diet.

I've lost three days already.

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What cheese do you use to coax a bear out of the woods with?

Camembert.
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Why did the thief take a shower?

He wanted to make a clean getaway!
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Why can't hippos ride bicycles?

Bike helmets don't fit hippos
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What did the grape say when the elephant stepped on it?

It gave a little wine
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How many does it take to screw in a light bulb?

10. One to hold the bulb and nine to rotate the ladder.
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How many drummers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They have machines to do that now.
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Which day do fish hate?

Fryday
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What do vampires take when they are sick?

Coffin drops!
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