Why did the Christmas tree go to the barber?

It needed to be trimmed.
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Why do you bring fish to a party?

Because it goes good with chips.
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How does the ocean say hello?

It waves.
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Did you hear about the restaurant on the moon?

Great food, no atmosphere.
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"Dyslexic man walks into a bra"
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Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants?

Just in case he got a hole in one!
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What do you call a bankrupt Santa?

Saint Nickel-less.
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Why does Snoop Dogg carry an umbrella?

Fo Drizzle!

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How many Union Lighting Technicians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

It's not a bulb, it's a globe.
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