Why did the Christmas tree go to the barber?

It needed to be trimmed.
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What is the difference between a car and a bull?

A car only has one horn.
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What happened when 500 hares got loose on Main Street?

The police had to comb the area.
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Where do you put barking dogs?

In a barking lot.
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A woman has twins, and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named 'Amal.' The other goes to a family in Spain, they name him Juan'. Years later; Juan sends a picture of himself to his mum. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wished she also had a picture of Amal.

Her husband responds, "But they are twins. If you've seen Juan, you've seen Amal."

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What do clarinetists use for birth control?

Their personalities.

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What did the peanut say to the walnut?

Nothing. Nuts can't talk.
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What kind of table has no legs.

A multiplication table.
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If you see a lawyer on a bicycle, why don't you swerve to hit him?

It might be your bicycle.
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