Why did the Christmas tree go to the barber?

It needed to be trimmed.
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How many accountants does it take to screw in a light bulb?

What kind of answer did you have in mind?
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Why do pandas like old movies?

Because they are black and white.
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A Freudian slip is when you mean to say one thing

but you accidentally say Mother.
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What do you see when you look into Trump's eyes?

Answer: The back of his head.
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Why did the orange stop in the middle of the hill?

It ran out of juice!
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What's the first thing a musician says at work?

"Would you like fries with that?"

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What do you get when you cross poison ivy with a 4-leaf clover?

A rash of good luck.
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Humpty Trumpty wants a great wall.

Humpty Trumpty wants Mexico to pay for it all.
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