Why did the computer squeak?

Someone stepped on its mouse.
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What did one magnet say to the other?

I find you very attractive.
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Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

He got caught peeping on a test.
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What do you call a dinosaur that wears a cowboy hat and boots?

Tyrannosaurus Tex.
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What is the difference between a lawyer and a rooster?

When a rooster wakes up in the morning, its primal urge is to cluck defiance.
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What did one egg say to the other egg?

Let's get crackin'!
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How do you get a dog to stop digging in the garden?

Take away his shovel
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Where do cars go for a swim?

At the carpool!
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How did Noah see the animals in the Ark at night?

With flood lighting.
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I met a Dutch girl with inflatable shoes last week, phoned her up to arrange a date

but unfortunately she'd popped her clogs.

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