Why did the computer squeak?

Someone stepped on its mouse.
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What do basketball players and babies have in common?

They both dribble.
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Why couldn't the pirates play cards?

They were sitting on the deck!
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If minorities have the race card and women have the gender card, what do rednecks have?

The Trump Card
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How many alto sax players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five: one to handle the bulb and four to contemplate how David Sanborn would've done it.
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What did the candle say to the other candle?

I'm going out tonight!
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What is the difference between a guitarist and a Savings Bond?

Eventually a Savings Bond will mature and earn money!

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Why are kindergarten teachers so good?

They can make little things count.
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How many light bulbs does it take to change a light bulb?

One, if it knows its own Goedel number.
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And how come her cell phone bill was so high?

She was a Roman (roamin) Catholic
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