Why did the computer squeak?

Someone stepped on its mouse.
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How do you stop an elephant from charging?

Take away his credit card
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What creature is smarter than a talking parrot?

A spelling bee!
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How many grips does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two: One to hold it, one to hammer it in.
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What do you call cheese that isn't yours?

Nacho cheese.
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What has four wheels and flies?

A garbage truck.
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Where do you put barking dogs?

In a barking lot.
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Why are elephants wrinkled?

Because they don't fit on a ironing board
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How do you make a hot dog stand?

Steal its chair.
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And the mermaid, that was weird. What was she wearing in math class?

An Algae-bra
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