Why did the computer squeak?

Someone stepped on its mouse.
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What happened when 500 hares got loose on Main Street?

The police had to comb the area.
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How do you catch a squirrel?

Climb up a tree and act like a nut
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Why was the piano player arrested?

Because he got into treble with the cops

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What kind of dogs do chemists have?

Laboratory Retrievers
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Why shouldn't Donald Trump rag on illegal immigrants?

Because an undocumented worker has been living on his head for the past 2 decades!
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What do you call a beautiful woman on a trombonist's arm?

A tattoo.

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What's brown and looks really good on a lawyer?

A Doberman.
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What do Santa's elves drink?

Minnesoda.
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Know how copper wire was invented?

Two lawyers were fighting over a penny.
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