Why did the cookie go to the Doctor?

Because he was feeling crumby.
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What happened when the lion ate the comedian?

He felt funny.
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How many agnostics does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Agnostics question whether electricity really exists.
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How many stock brokers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to take out the bulb and drop it, and the other to try and sell it before it crashes (knowing that it's already burned out).
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Do you know what the Queen's father was called?

King.
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Two aerials meet on a roof - fall in love - get married.

The ceremony was rubbish - but the reception was brilliant.

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What do you call a dinosaur that wears a cowboy hat and boots?

Tyrannosaurus Tex.
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How many accountants does it take to screw in a light bulb?

What kind of answer did you have in mind?
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What do you call a song sung in an automobile?

A cartoon.
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What do fish take to stay healthy?

Vitamin sea.
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