Why did the cow cross the road?

To get to the udder side.
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How many Real Men does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Real Men aren't afraid of the dark.
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The first time I met my wife, I knew she was a keeper.

She was wearing massive gloves.
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What did Donald Trump say to the birthday boy?

"Let me see your birth certificate".
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How does a penguin build it's house?

Igloos it together.
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What do you call a mad elephant?

An earthquake.
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What happened when the butcher backed up into his meat grinder?

he got a little behind in his work.
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What did one elevator say to the other?

I think I'm coming down with something!
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