Why did the cow cross the road?

To get to the udder side.
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What is a parents favorite Christmas carol?

Silent night!
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What can a goose do, a duck can't, and a lawyer should?

Stick his bill up his ass.
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How can you tell when a lawyer is lying?

Their lips are moving.
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What are the 10 letters of the pirate alphabet?

Aye, Aye, Arr and the Seven C's
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What's the difference between Donald Trump and Ronald Reagan?

If Trump gets Alzheimers his IQ will go up.
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Where do you get whales weighed?

At the Whale-weigh station.
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What are pirate's favoite treat?

Chips AHOY!!
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