Why did the cow cross the road?

To get to the udder side.
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Why did Lil Wayne go to the Doctor?

He was feeling a Lil Weezy

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What do you use to tie saplings to a piano so the saplings won't blow away?

Root position cords.

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What do dinosaurs and decent lawyers have in common?

They're both extinct.
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How did the telephone propose to his girlfriend?

He gave her a ring.
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Why do fish live in salt water?

Because pepper makes them sneeze
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How do you know an elephant has been in your refrigerator?

There are footprints in the butter.
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What do you call a crate of ducks?

A box of quackers.
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