Why did the cow cross the road?

To get to the udder side.
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What would you call a humorous knee?

Fun-ny!
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Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.

It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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What's the difference between a female lawyer and a pitbull?

Lipstick.
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Why are babies good at soccer?

Because they dribble!
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What do you call a gorilla wearing earmuffs?

Anything you like, he can't hear you.
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There's a fine line between a numerator and denominator.

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I was in Tesco's and I saw this man and woman wrapped in a barcode.

I said, "Are you two an item?"

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