Why did the cow cross the road?

To get to the udder side.
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How many alto sax players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five: one to handle the bulb and four to contemplate how David Sanborn would've done it.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and God?

God doesn't think he's a lawyer.
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How many U.S. Marines does it take to change a light bulb?

Fifty — one to screw in the bulb and 49 to guard him/her.
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What do you give a pig with a rash?

Oinkment.
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What would you call a humorous knee?

Fun-ny!
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What do you get when you drop a piano into a mine shaft?

A Flat Miner

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What does a lawyer get when you give him Viagra?

Taller
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