Why did the cow cross the road?

To get to the udder side.
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What's a tree's favorite drink?

Rootbeer.
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What do you get if you cross a chicken with a cement mixer?

A brick layer!
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What do whales eat?

Fish and ships.
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I went down the local supermarket, I said, "I want to make a complaint, this vinegar's got lumps in it",

he said, "Those are pickled onions".

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What did the ghost say to the other ghost?

Do you believe in humans?
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When did the fly fly?

When the spider spied her!
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What do you call an elephant in a phone booth?

Stuck
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