Why did the cow go in the spaceship?

It wanted to see the mooooooon!
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Why did the calendar write its will?

Its days were numbered.
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What do birds say on Halloween?

Twick o tweet
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What's green and loud?

A froghorn.
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me!
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How many Ukrainians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None, because people who glow in the dark don't need light bulbs.

Note: Topical to the Chernobyl Reactor disaster of 1984.
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I'm sorry we can't let the elephants back into the public pool.

They keep dropping their trunks.
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What do you call a guy who's born in Columbus, grows up in Cleveland, and then dies in Cincinnati?

Dead.
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How does a mouse feel after it takes a shower?

Squeaky clean
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