Why did the cow go in the spaceship?

It wanted to see the mooooooon!
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Why did the singer climb a ladder?

She wanted to reach the high notes!

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What's black and white, black and white, black and white and green?

Three skunks fighting over a pickle

First dog: My master calls me Furball. How about you?
Second Dog: My master calls me Sitboy
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What's the difference between a tick and a lawyer?

The tick falls off when you are dead.
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How is Donald Trump going to create middle class jobs?

By paying them to cheer for him during campaign events.
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What did the peanut say to the walnut?

Nothing. Nuts can't talk.
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Why are giraffes so slow to apologize?

It takes them a long time to swallow their pride.
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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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How many sheep do you need to make a sweater?

I don't know. I didn't think sheep could knit
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