Why did the cucumber call 911?

It was in a pickle!
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What has four wheels and flies?

A garbage truck.
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Two girls were born on the same day, same year, same parents, except they are not twins. Explain:

They are triplets.
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What do you call a public servant who doesn't take crap from Republicans or Democrats?

Donald Trump.
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What do you call a fish without an eye?

Fsh
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What kind of mouse does not eat, drink, or even walk?

A computer mouse.
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Why was the boy sitting on his watch?

Because he wanted to be on time.
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How do you make a goldfish old?

Take away the g
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What do you get when you cross a roll of wool and a kangaroo?

A woolen jumper
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I'm sorry we can't let the elephants back into the public pool.

They keep dropping their trunks.
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