Why did the dinosaur cross the road?

The chicken wasn't around yet.
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I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.

I’m just doing it for kicks.
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What do you give a pig with a rash?

Oinkment.
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How is Donald Trump going to shut down the Department of Education?

By renaming it Trump University.
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What do you give a sick bird?

Tweetment.
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Why did the lamb cross the road?

To get to the baaaaarber shop
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What did one egg say to the other egg?

Let's get crackin!
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Slept like a log last night........

Woke up in the fireplace.

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