Why did the dinosaur cross the road?

The chicken wasn't around yet.
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What kind of pants do ghosts wear?

Boo-Jeans.
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If you don't know what introspection is,

you need to take a long, hard look at yourself.
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Why do cows go to New York?

To see the moosicals
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How many Stanford professors does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One to write a paper claiming that light is a pig whitey invention, one to organize a Darkness Studies program, and one hundred to protest the Diablo Canyon Nuclear Generating Station.
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What is the definition of a shame (as in "that's a shame")?

When a busload of lawyers goes off a cliff.
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Why do ducks fly south?

Because it's too far to walk!
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Why does everybody like Frosty the Snowman?

Because he is so cool!
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