Why did the dog cross the road twice?

He was trying to fetch a boomerang
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What do dinosaurs and decent lawyers have in common?

They're both extinct.
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What do you call a mad elephant?

An earthquake.
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What do you call a pig who knows karate?

Porkchop
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What do you call a wheel made of iron?

A ferrous wheel.
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What is the chemical formula for "banana"?

BaNa2
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Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.

It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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Which runs faster, hot or cold water?

Hot, because you can catch cold.
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