Why did the doughnut shop close?

The owner got tired of the (w)hole business!
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What do Santa's elves drink?

Minnesoda.
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What do you get from a cow at the North Pole?

Ice cream.
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Why doesn't Melania Trump want to be the first lady?

Because she would have to move into a smaller house.
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How many polite New Yorkers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Both of them.
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H2O is water and H2O2 is hydrogen peroxide. What is H2O4?

Drinking.
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How do you keep a skunk from smelling?

Plug its nose.
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