Why did the doughnut shop close?

The owner got tired of the (w)hole business!
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How many ergonomicists does it take to change a light bulb?

Five. Four to decide which way the bulb ought to turn, and . . .
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What did the clock do after it ate?

It went back four seconds!
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What happens when spectroscopists are idle?

They turn from notating nuclear spins to notating unclear puns.
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Why are kindergarten teachers so good?

They can make little things count.
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Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.

It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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What is a lion's favorite state?

Maine
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