Why did the doughnut shop close?

The owner got tired of the (w)hole business!
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What's green and flies as fast as a speeding bullet?

Super Pickle!
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I bought some shoes off of a drug dealer. I don't know what he laced them with

but I've been trippin' all day.
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What's the difference between a female lawyer and a pitbull?

Lipstick.
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Why can't a bicycle stand up?

Because it's two tired!
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How many actors does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one. They don't like to share the spotlight.
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What's a light-year?

The same as a regular year, but with less calories.
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