Why did the drum take a nap?

It was beat.
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I asked the guy sitting next to me if he had any Sodium Hypobromite

He said NaBrO
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How many Bratzlaver Chassidim does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They will never find one that burned as brightly as the first one.
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What did the boat say to the pier?

What's up, dock?
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What's worse than a centipede with athlete's foot?

A porcupine with split ends
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Went to the paper shop -

it had blown away.
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How many WASPs does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Silly, WASPs don't screw in a light bulb, they screw in a hot tub.
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Why did the boy take a ruler to bed?

To see how long he slept.
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I went to the Doctors the other day, and he said, 'Go to Bournemouth, it's great for flu'.

So I went - and I got it.
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Why did the turtle cross the road?

To get to the shell station.
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