Why did the drum take a nap?

It was beat.
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How do you get a trombonist off of your porch?

Pay him for the pizza

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There was a rooster sitting on a top of a barn. If it laid an egg, which way would it roll?

Roosters don't lay eggs!
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How many Holocaust revisionists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None: they just deny that the bulb ever went out in the first place.
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Why can't Donald Trump be a Lannister?

Because he never pays his debts.
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Helium walks into a bar,
The bar tender says "We don't serve noble gasses in here."

Helium doesn't react.
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What did Donald Trump say to the birthday boy?

"Let me see your birth certificate".
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What do you call a movie about Donald Trump, Bernie Madoff, and Kenneth Lay?

The League of Extraordinary Con Men.
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What do you call a bankrupt Santa?

Saint Nickel-less.
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What do you call a pig that does karate?

A pork chop.
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