Why did the drum take a nap?

It was beat.
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How many polite New Yorkers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Both of them.
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If H20 is water, what is H204?

Drinking, bathing, washing, swimming, etc.
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What did the Cinderella fish wear to the ball?

Glass flippers.
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It's Hans free.
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What's the difference between in-laws and outlaws?

Outlaws are wanted.
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A sandwich walks into a bar.

The barman says "Sorry we don't serve food in here"

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What kind of dog always runs a fever?

A hot dog
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What is Donald Trump "really" trying to do?

Make America Hate Again.
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Where do cars go for a swim?

At the carpool!
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