Why did the drum take a nap?

It was beat.
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Why did the thief take a shower?

He wanted to make a clean getaway!
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How do you open the great lakes?

With the Florida Keys.
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How many Sound Recordists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

WHAT?
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I wouldn't buy anything with velcro.

It's a total rip-off.
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What robs you while you're in the bathtub?

A robber ducky.
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What did the peanut say to the elephant?

Nothing, peanuts don't talk.
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What did the Cinderella fish wear to the ball?

Glass flippers.
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Why did the skeleton cross the road?

To get to the body shop.
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How many fundamentalists does it take to change a light bulb?

None; the Bible doesn't mention any light bulbs.
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