Why did the drum take a nap?

It was beat.
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How do you know the economy is only getting worse?

On the latest episode of "Celebrity Apprentice", Donald Trump fired himself!
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How are an apple and a lawyer alike?

They both look good hanging from a tree.
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You see my next-door neighbour worships exhaust pipes,

he's a catholic converter.


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In what school do you learn how to greet people?

Hi school.
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Where do computers go to dance?

The disk-o!
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Why do loud, obnoxious whistles exist at some factories?

To give us some sort of appreciation for flutes.

Did you hear about that music composer who committed suicide? He didn't even leave a note.

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Why did the lamb cross the road?

To get to the baaaaarber shop
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Why was the mole of oxygen molecules excited when he walked out of the singles bar?

He got Avogadro's number!
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What kind of cars do cats drive?

Catillacs
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