Why did the drum take a nap?

It was beat.
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What kind of eggs does a wicked chicken lay?

Deviled eggs.
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What's worse than a worm in your apple?

Half a worm.
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Customer: "Do you have alligator shoes?"

Clerk: "Yes, sir. What size does your alligator wear?"
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What has ears like a cat and a tail like a cat, but is not a cat?

A kitten.
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Which is the most religious cheese?

Emmental...it's very hol(e)y...
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So I went to the Chinese restaurant and this duck came up to me with a red rose and says "Your eyes sparkle like diamonds".

I said, "Waiter, I asked for a-ROMATIC duck".
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A man goes to a zoo and discovers there is only one animal and it's a dog.

It was a Shih Tzu
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How many Zen masters does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A tree in a golden forest.
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What do you call the best butter on the farm?

A goat.
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