Why did the drum take a nap?

It was beat.
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What do you call a crate of ducks?

A box of quackers.
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Were does a boat go when it is sick?

To the dock.
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How many Bratzlaver Chassidim does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They will never find one that burned as brightly as the first one.
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So I went to the Chinese restaurant and this duck came up to me with a red rose and says "Your eyes sparkle like diamonds".

I said, "Waiter, I asked for a-ROMATIC duck".
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Why do cows go to New York?

To see the moosicals
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Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

Because he was caught tweeting on a test.
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What has one horn and gives milk?

A milk truck.
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What is the most important rule in chemistry?

Never lick the spoon!
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What do you get when you drop a piano into a mine shaft?

A Flat Miner

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