Why did the drum take a nap?

It was beat.
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Did you know that oxygen went for a second date with potassium?
How did it go?

It went OK2!
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Why didn't the skeleton want to go to school?

His heart wasn't in it.
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Why did the cat go to Minnesota?

To get a mini soda
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I tried nutella on some salmon

got salmonella.
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Where do cows go on Saturday night?

To the mooooooovies.
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Why do ducks fly south?

Because it's too far to walk!
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How many assholes does it take to change a light bulb?

None; assholes never see the light anyway.
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How many Bluegrass musicians does it take to screw in a light bulb??

What's a light bulb?
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What kind of cars do cats drive?

Catillacs
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