Why did the drum take a nap?

It was beat.
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A woman has twins, and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named 'Amal.' The other goes to a family in Spain, they name him Juan'. Years later; Juan sends a picture of himself to his mum. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wished she also had a picture of Amal.

Her husband responds, "But they are twins. If you've seen Juan, you've seen Amal."

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Where do mice park their boats?

At the hickory dickory dock.
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What's a puppy's favorite kind of pizza?

Pupperoni.
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What is the difference between a locomotive engineer and a teacher?

One minds the train, one trains the mind.
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How many times does Bill Clinton change a light bulb?

No one knows. Republicans automatically disbelieve him, and no one can ever trust a stinking liberal anyway.
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What do you call a fat pumpkin?

A plumpkin.
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Why did the spy stay in bed?

Because he was under cover.
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I’ve never gone to a gun range before.

I decided to give it a shot!
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What happened when the butcher backed up into his meat grinder?

he got a little behind in his work.
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