Why did the drum take a nap?

It was beat.
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Why do cows go to New York?

To see the moosicals
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Now that Macy's has severed ties, with Donald Trump, how can the average American look like the President?

By hunting and killing their own hair piece.
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How many bass clarinetists does it take to change a light bulb?

All of them
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What kind of lights did Noah have on the ark?

Flood lights!
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How many musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and 17 to be on the guest list.
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How do you get a cello player to play in tune?

Tell him the key signature has 8 sharps.

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What do you call a cold dog sitting on a bunny?

A chili dog on a bun.
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What is the most important rule in chemistry?

Never lick the spoon!
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How did the chemist survive the famine?

By subsisting on titrations.
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