Why did the drum take a nap?

It was beat.
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What's the difference between a piano and a tuna?

You can tuna piano, but you can't piano a tuna

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What does Donald Trump say when he can't find his Viagra?

"The erection is rigged!"
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Why did the tomato blush?

Because he saw the salad dressing!
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What has three letters and starts with gas?

A car
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I'm in great mood tonight because the other day I entered a competition and I won a years supply of Marmite

......... one jar.
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What has 6 eyes but can't see?

3 blind mice.
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Why are babies good at soccer?

Because they dribble!
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How can you tell when a lawyer is lying?

Their lips are moving.
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Have you seen the new HGTV show about the Whitehouse makeover?

It's called "Trump It or Dump It".
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