Why did the drum take a nap?

It was beat.
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What's black and white and red all over?

A blushing zebra.
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How can you tell that a train just went by?

It left its tracks.
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What do you call a smiling, courteous person at a bar association convention?

The caterer.
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Why was Cinderella thrown off the basketball team?

She ran away from the ball.
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Which is the most religious cheese?

Emmental...it's very hol(e)y...
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How many mathematicians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. He gives it to six Californians, thereby reducing the problem to an earlier joke...

In earlier work, Wiener [1] has shown that one mathematician can change a light bulb.

If k mathematicians can change a light bulb, and if one more simply watches them do it, then k+1 mathematicians will have changed the light bulb.

Therefore, by induction, for all n in the positive integers, n mathematicians can change a light bulb.

Bibliography:

[1] Wiener, Matthew P., <11485@ucbvax>, Re: YALBJ, 1986
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How do you make a goldfish old?

Take away the g
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What do Santa's elves learn in school?

The Elfabet.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a bucket of manure?

The bucket.
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