Why did the drum take a nap?

It was beat.
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What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car?

Carlos.
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How many managers does it take to change a light bulb?

Nearly unanswerable, since the one who tries to change it usually drops it, and the others call for a planning session.
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How are elephants and trees alike?

They both have trunks
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Who's richer — the butcher, the baker, or the candlestick maker?

The baker, because he has lots of dough.
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A young blonde woman is distraught because she fears her husband is having an affair, so she goes to a gun shop and buys a handgun. The next day she comes home to find her husband in bed with a beautiful redhead. She grabs the gun and holds it to her own head. The husband jumps out of bed, begging and pleading with her not to shoot herself.

The blonde responds to the husband, "Shut up...you're next!"
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How do we know the Indians were the first people in North America?

They had reservations.
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What has a bed that you can't sleep in?

A river.
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What did the little girl say when she had to choose between a tricycle and a candy bar?

"Trike or Treat"?
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What are the 10 letters of the pirate alphabet?

Aye, Aye, Arr and the Seven C's
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