Why did the drum take a nap?

It was beat.
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A duck, a skunk and a deer went out for dinner at a restaurant one night.

When it came time to pay, the skunk didn't have a scent, the deer didn't have a buck so they put the meal on the duck's bill.
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Which 2 food groups make up Donald Trumps diet?

Meat and Democrats!
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What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?

Frostbite.
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I rang up British Telecom, I said, "I want to report a nuisance caller",

he said "Not you again".

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What do you call lending money to a bison?

A buff-a-loan
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Interesting story, the guy who helped me learn algebra never farted around anyone.

I mean he did say he was a private tutor.
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What happened when 500 hares got loose on Main Street?

The police had to comb the area.
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What do you call a messy hippo?

A hippopota-mess
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Where can you find a good lawyer?

In the cemetery
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