Why did the drum take a nap?

It was beat.
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Slept like a log last night........

Woke up in the fireplace.

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What's the difference between a jellyfish and a lawyer?

One's a spineless, poisonous blob. The other is a form of sea life.
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What did one egg say to the other egg?

Let's get crackin!
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How many 2nd AD's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Uh...standby, I'll check on that.
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What airline does Donald Trump aspire to fly?

Hair Force One!
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How many UFO buffs does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. You don't believe me do you? I've got photos! See that big blob? Well, just squint your eyes a bit. . . .
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What is Donald Trumps biggest dilemma now that he's president?

Finding a cabinet position for the thing on his head!
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What do you call a fish without an eye?

Fsh
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When Susan's boyfriend proposed marriage to her she said: "I love the simple things in life,

but I don't want one of them for my husband".

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