Why did the drum take a nap?

It was beat.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and God?

God doesn't think he's a lawyer.
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Interesting story, the guy who helped me learn algebra never farted around anyone.

I mean he did say he was a private tutor.
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How do you make a band stand?

Take their chairs away!
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If H20 is water, what is H204?

Drinking, bathing, washing, swimming, etc.
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What's the name of the archeologist that works at Scotland Yard?

Sherlock Bones.
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How many [ethnic] gods does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to hold the bulb and the other to rotate the planet.
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Why did the sun go to school?

To get brighter!
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What's a dog's favorite food for breakfast?

Pooched eggs.
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How many managers does it take to change a light bulb?

Nearly unanswerable, since the one who tries to change it usually drops it, and the others call for a planning session.
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