Why did the drum take a nap?

It was beat.
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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to screw it in, and another to repent.

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How many Macintosh users does it take to change a light bulb?

None. You have to replace the whole motherboard.
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Why did the boy take a ladder to school?

He wanted to go to high school!
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Why did the cow go in the spaceship?

It wanted to see the mooooooon!
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What happened when 500 hares got loose on Main Street?

The police had to comb the area.
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What type of cars do elves drive?

Toy-otas.
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Where do fish keep their money?

In a river bank
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I said to this train driver "I want to go to Paris". He said "Eurostar?"

I said, "I've been on telly but I'm no Dean Martin".
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You see my next-door neighbour worships exhaust pipes,

he's a catholic converter.


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