Why did the drum take a nap?

It was beat.
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What is Claustrophobia?

The fear of Santa Claus.
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How many mathematicians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. He gives it to six Californians, thereby reducing the problem to an earlier joke...

In earlier work, Wiener [1] has shown that one mathematician can change a light bulb.

If k mathematicians can change a light bulb, and if one more simply watches them do it, then k+1 mathematicians will have changed the light bulb.

Therefore, by induction, for all n in the positive integers, n mathematicians can change a light bulb.

Bibliography:

[1] Wiener, Matthew P., <11485@ucbvax>, Re: YALBJ, 1986
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Did you hear oxygen went on a date with potassium?

It went OK.
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Why did the cow go to outer space?

To visit the milky way.
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Why should we call the President, Donald "Duck" Trump?

Because you better duck when he's pissed.
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Why did the people not like the restaurant on the moon?

Because there was no atmosphere.
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What did the snowman say to the customer?

Have an ice day!
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What is Donald Trump "really" trying to do?

Make America Hate Again.
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When do you go on red and stop on green?

When you are eating a watermelon.
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