Why did the drum take a nap?

It was beat.
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What did the frog say when he heard "time flies when you are having fun?"

Time is fun when you're having flies
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Earlier this year I saw The Theory of Everything – loved it.

Should've been called Look Who's Hawking, that's my only criticism.
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What type of cars do elves drive?

Toy-otas.
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What do you call a cold dog sitting on a bunny?

A chili dog on a bun.
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What did the man on the beach say to Michael Jackson?

Get out of my sun!
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What did the calculator say to the math student?

You can count on me!
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If you see a lawyer on a bicycle, why don't you swerve to hit him?

It might be your bicycle.
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What does GOP stand for?

Grabs Our Pussy.
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How do you keep a skunk from smelling?

Plug its nose.
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