Why did the drum take a nap?

It was beat.
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What did the pencil say to the paper?

I dot my i's on you!
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If the red house is on the left,the blue house is on the right,where is the White House?

In Washington, D.C.
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How do you fix a broken vegetable?

With tomato paste.
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What's the difference between a piano and a tuna?

You can tuna piano, but you can't piano a tuna

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How many alto sax players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five: one to handle the bulb and four to contemplate how David Sanborn would've done it.
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What's worse than a worm in your apple?

Half a worm.
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Why don't they know where Mozart is buried?

Because he's Haydn.

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What has 6 eyes but can't see?

3 blind mice.
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What did the ceiling say to the chandelier?

You're the only bright spot in my life.
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