Why did the drum take a nap?

It was beat.
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How many Real Men does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Real Men aren't afraid of the dark.
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What fish only swims at night?

A starfish.
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What's black and white, black and white, black and white and green?

Three skunks fighting over a pickle

First dog: My master calls me Furball. How about you?
Second Dog: My master calls me Sitboy
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Where did the sheep go on vacation?

The baaaahamas
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Why did the gardener plant his money?

He wanted his soil to be rich!
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Which day do fish hate?

Fryday
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What does a witch use to keep her hair up?

Scarespray!
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What did Donald Trump do before criticizing illegals?

He made sure his pools were clean and his lawns were mowed.
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Why did the skeleton cross the road?

To get to the body shop.
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