Why did the drum take a nap?

It was beat.
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What do you call a dog that likes bubble baths?

A shampoodle
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What time is it when an elephant sits on your bed?

Time to get a new bed
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What is the difference between a lawyer and a rooster?

When a rooster wakes up in the morning, its primal urge is to cluck defiance.
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I stayed up all night because I wanted to see where the sun went,

and then it dawned on me.
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a herd of buffalo?

The lawyer charges more.
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Why do you think Civil Disobedience was such a fantastic essay?

Thoreau editing Thorough.
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Why was the cat afraid of a tree?

Because of the bark
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What do vampires take when they are sick?

Coffin drops!
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