Why did the drum take a nap?

It was beat.
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What is a shark's favorite sandwich?

Peanut butter and jellyfish.
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How many musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and 17 to be on the guest list.
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What do you call a public servant who doesn't take crap from Republicans or Democrats?

Donald Trump.
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Where do horses live?

In the neigh-borhood.
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What's worse than a worm in your apple?

Half a worm.
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How many actors does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one. They don't like to share the spotlight.
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What do you get when you cross a stream and a brook?

Wet feet.
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What's gray, eats fish, and lives in Washington, D.C.?

The Presidential Seal.
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What do you call a mommy cow that just had a calf?

Decalfinated
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