Why did the drum take a nap?

It was beat.
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What's worse than a worm in your apple?

Half a worm.
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What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a red car?
A red carnation.
What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a pink car?
A pink car-nation.
What would the country be called if everyone in it lived in their cars?

An in-car-nation.
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What did one titration say to the other?

"Let's meet at the endpoint."
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What do planets like to read?

Comet books!
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What does a cat say when somebody steps on
its tail?

Me-ow
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How many Cabbage Patch dolls does it take to change a light bulb?

The question is irrelevant, since you couldn't find the dolls even if you knew how many. (Note: Well, this was a good joke in 1983-84. . . .)
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What kind of flower has lips?

Two-lips!
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Doc, I can't stop singing the 'Green Green Grass of Home'. He said: 'That sounds like Tom Jones syndrome'. 'Is it common?'I asked.

'It's not unusual' he replied.

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Why can't hippos ride bicycles?

Bike helmets don't fit hippos
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