Why did the drum take a nap?

It was beat.
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What do you call a musician with a college degree?

Night manager at McDonalds

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Whats the difference between a cat and a compound sentence?

One has claws at the end of its paws and one has a pause at the end of its clause
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Where would an astronaut park his space ship?

A parking meteor!
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How does a penguin build it's house?

Igloos it together.
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What is a pirate's favorite's fish?

A swordfish
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Why did the girl throw the butter out the window?

She wanted to see a butterfly.
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What do postal workers do when they're mad?

They stamp their feet.
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How many hardware folks does it take to change a light bulb?

None. That's a software problem.
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Why does hamburger yield lower energy than steak?

Because it's in the ground state.
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