Why did the drum take a nap?

It was beat.
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Why did the cow cross the road?

Because the chicken was on vacation.
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Two chemists go into a restaurant.
The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O."

The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" -- and he died.
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They stopped a vulture from bringing his rotting carcasses on the plane

but he said "You said I could have two carry on items!"
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If H20 is water, what is H204?

Drinking, bathing, washing, swimming, etc.
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What did the snail say when he got on the turtle's shell?

Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
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What does new age music sound like played backwards?

New age music.

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What did the number 0 say to number 8?

Nice belt!
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What does a calf become after it's 1 year old?

2 years old.

Cow: "Mooooove over"
Sheep: "Naaaaaaa."
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How do you stop a dog barking in the back seat of a car?

Put him in the front seat.
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