Why did the drum take a nap?

It was beat.
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The first time I met my wife, I knew she was a keeper.

She was wearing massive gloves.
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How can a pregnant woman tell that she's carrying a future lawyer?

She has an uncontrollable craving for bologna.
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What did the man on the beach say to Michael Jackson?

Get out of my sun!
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Two chemists go into a restaurant.
The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O."

The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" -- and he died.
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What airline does Donald Trump aspire to fly?

Hair Force One!
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There are 10 kinds of people in the world.

Those who read binary and those who don't.
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How many ``pro-lifers'' does it take to change a light bulb?

6: 2 to screw in the bulb and 4 to testify that it was lit from the moment they began screwing.
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How does an Eskimo stick his house together?

With igloo!
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What room does a ghost not need?

A living room!
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