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Why did the drum take a nap?
It was beat.
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How many [ethnic] gods does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Two. One to hold the bulb and the other to rotate the planet.
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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?
To reduce his carbon footprint.
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If the Silver Surfer and Iron Man team up, they'd be alloys.
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What game do elephants play when riding in the back of a car?
Squash
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What do you see when you look into Trump's eyes?
Answer: The back of his head.
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Who did Frankenstein take to the dance?
His "ghoul" friend!
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How many college girls does it take to change a light bulb?
That's "women," you unfunny jerk!
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Why does hamburger yield lower energy than steak?
Because it's in the ground state.
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What's the difference between a good lawyer and a bad lawyer?
A bad lawyer makes your case drag on for years. A good lawyer makes it last even longer.
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