Why did the drum take a nap?

It was beat.
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What's the difference between a jellyfish and a lawyer?

One's a spineless, poisonous blob. The other is a form of sea life.

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What did Donald Trump say to the birthday boy?

"Let me see your birth certificate".
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What do you call a Disney Princess that supports Donald Trump?

Snow White Supremacist.
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How is a dog like a telephone?

It has a collar I.D.

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What do you call a story about a broken pencil?

Pointless
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What do you get when you cross a stream and a brook?

Wet feet.

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What do you call a fat pumpkin?

A plumpkin.
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What bone will a dog never eat?

A trombone.

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What did the alien say when he was out of room?

I'm all spaced out!
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