Why did the drum take a nap?

It was beat.
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What did the little boy's mom say when he asked her to buy him shoes for gym?

"Tell Jim to buy his own shoes".
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How do hair stylists speed up their job?

They take short cuts!
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What is the strongest animal?

A snail because it carries it's home.
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Why do you bring fish to a party?

Because it goes good with chips.
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When one physicist asks another, "What's new?" what's the typical response?

C over lambda.
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If the red house is on the left,the blue house is on the right,where is the White House?

In Washington, D.C.
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Do you know how many musicians it takes to change a light bulb?

No, but hum a few bars and I'll fake it.
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Why did the opera singer go sailing?

Because she wanted to hit the high C's.
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Where do fortune tellers dance?

At the crystal ball.
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