Why did the drum take a nap?

It was beat.
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How Many lead guitarist does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They just steal somebody else's light.
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Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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What is the most important rule in chemistry?

Never lick the spoon!
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Why did the bird get a ticket?

It broke the law of gravity!
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What is a cow's favorite place?

The mooseum.
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What kind of eggs does a wicked chicken lay?

Deviled eggs.
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What is a horse's favorite sport?

Stable tennis
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What's the name of the archeologist that works at Scotland Yard?

Sherlock Bones.
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What runs around a yard without moving?

A fence.
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