Why did the drum take a nap?

It was beat.
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I've got a friend who's fallen in love with two school bags,

he's bisatchel.

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What kind of cat should you never play games with?

A cheetah
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How do you cut a wave in half?

Use a sea saw.
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How many radical feminists does it take to change a light bulb?

That isn't funny!
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Why did the sea monster eat five ships that were carrying potatoes?

No one can eat just one potato ship.
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I thought about going on an all-almond diet.

But that's just nuts
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How many Macintosh users does it take to change a light bulb?

None. You have to replace the whole motherboard.
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What do you call a dinosaur in a car accident?

A tyrannosauraus wreck
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What did one egg say to the other egg?

Let's get crackin!
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