Why did the drum take a nap?

It was beat.
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What is the best time to go to the dentist?

Tooth-hurty.
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What do Santa's elves drink?

Minnesoda.
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What is the opposite of a restaurant?

A workaraunt.
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How many Einsteins does it take to change a light bulb?

That depends on the speed of the change and the mass of the bulb. Or vice versa, of course. It just might be easier to leave the bulb and change the room. It's all relative.

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Customer: "Do you have alligator shoes?"

Clerk: "Yes, sir. What size does your alligator wear?"
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Why doesn't Melania Trump want to be the first lady?

Because she would have to move into a smaller house.
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What do camels use to hide themselves?

Camelflauge

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How many does it take to screw in a light bulb?

10. One to hold the bulb and nine to rotate the ladder.

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How many DP's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. No, two. No... How many do we have on the truck?

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