Why did the elephant leave the circus?

He was tired of working for peanuts.
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How do you make a rock float?

Put it in a glass with some ice cream and root beer.
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What do Michael Jackson and x-boxs have in common?

They're both plastic and little boys turn them on.
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Why don't aliens eat clowns?

Because they taste funny!
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Why are kindergarten teachers so good?

They can make little things count.
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What do you call a tooth in a glass of water?

One molar solution.
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What is a cat's favorite movie?

The sound of Mew-sic
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Why can't lawyers do NMR?

Bar magnets have poor homogeneity.
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The first time I met my wife, I knew she was a keeper.

She was wearing massive gloves.
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