Why did the elephant leave the circus?

He was tired of working for peanuts.
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What is a frog's favorite year?

Leap Year
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What did the rug say to the floor?

Don't move, I've got you covered.
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What is the difference between a car and a bull?

A car only has one horn.
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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to do the screwing, and one to hear the confession.
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Why do ducks fly south?

Because it's too far to walk!
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How does a penguin build it's house?

Igloos it together.
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What is a vampire's favorite fruit?

A nectarine!
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How many Stuntmen does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Five. One to screw it in and four to tell him how bitchin' he looked doing it.
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