Why did the farmer wear one boot to town?

Because he heard there would be a 50% chance of snow!
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What happens when spectroscopists are idle?

They turn from notating nuclear spins to notating unclear puns.
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What happened when 500 hares got loose on Main Street?

The police had to comb the area.
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How many does it take to screw in a light bulb?

10. One to hold the bulb and nine to rotate the ladder.
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How do you tell you're kissing a french horn player?

He/She keeps trying to stick their fist up your butt.

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Why did the pianist keep banging his head against the keys?

He was playing by ear

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How many fire safety guys dose it take to screw in a light bulb?

One -- but it's an 8 hour minimum.
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Where is a rabbit's favorite place to eat?

Ihop
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What do Santa's elves drive?

Minivans.
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I would avoid the sushi if I was you.

It’s a little fishy.
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