Why did the farmer wear one boot to town?

Because he heard there would be a 50% chance of snow!
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What's a tree's favorite drink?

Rootbeer.
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What kind of pants do ghosts wear?

Boo-Jeans.
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How many bass clarinetists does it take to change a light bulb?

All of them
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What do Russians use for napkins?

Soviets
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How many magicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Depends on what you want to change it into.
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How do you get a dog to stop digging in the garden?

Take away his shovel
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El Chapo has offered $100 million dollars for Trumps body, dead or alive.

I guess that finally answers the question about how much Donald Trump is actually worth.
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Where would an astronaut park his space ship?

A parking meteor!
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Why did the poultry farmer become a school teacher?

So he could grade his eggs.
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