Why did the football coach go to the bank?

To get his quarterback.
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What is "HIJKLMNO"?

H2O.
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What do you call a pig who knows karate?

Porkchop
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What do you see when you look into Trump's eyes?

Answer: The back of his head.
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What lies on its back, one hundred feet in the air?

A dead centipede.
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What do you do when 50 zombies surround your house?

Hope it's Halloween!!
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The new band called 1023MB.

They haven't had any gigs yet
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How many "pro-lifers" does it take to change a light bulb?

Six: two to screw in the bulb and four to testify that it was lit from the moment they began screwing.
None; the bulb will change itself when it is ready.
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How many [ethnic] gods does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to hold the bulb and the other to rotate the planet.
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