Why did the football coach go to the bank?

To get his quarterback.
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Why shouldn't Donald Trump rag on illegal immigrants?

Because an undocumented worker has been living on his head for the past 2 decades!
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What music does cheese listen to?

R & Brie.
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What do you call a bruise on a T-Rex?

A dino-sore
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How many agnostics does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Agnostics question whether electricity really exists.
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What is a shark's favorite sandwich?

Peanut butter and jellyfish.
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What do have when a lawyer is buried up to his neck in sand?

Not enough sand.
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What do you give a pig with a rash?

Oinkment.
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What is "HIJKLMNO"?

H2O.
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