Why did the football coach go to the bank?

To get his quarterback.
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What is the chemical formula for "banana"?

BaNa2
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I thought about going on an all-almond diet.

But that's just nuts
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Why can't hippos ride bicycles?

Bike helmets don't fit hippos
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What do you call a cow that twitches?

Beef jerky
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Why does everybody like Frosty the Snowman?

Because he is so cool!
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Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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What is the name of 007's Eskimo cousin?

Polar Bond.
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Why was the piano player arrested?

Because he got into treble with the cops

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