Why did the gardener plant his money?

He wanted his soil to be rich!
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Why do cows wear bells?

Because their horns don't work.

There were two cows in a field. The first cow said "moo" and the second cow said "baaaa." The first cow asked the second cow, "why did you say baaaa?" The second cow said, "I'm learning a foreign language."
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What do you call a clown who's in jail?

A silicon.
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What do you call snake with no clothes on?

Snaked.
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Why did the doughnut shop close?

The owner got tired of the (w)hole business!
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What did the peanut say to the walnut?

Nothing. Nuts can't talk.
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What did the bartender say when oxygen, hydrogen, sulfur, sodium, and phosphorous walked into his bar?

OH SNaP!
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Where do fortune tellers dance?

At the crystal ball.
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What do you get when you plant a frog?

A cr-oak tree.
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Have you heard the joke about the butter?

I better not tell you, it might spread.
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