Why did the gardener plant his money?

He wanted his soil to be rich!
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What do camels use to hide themselves?

Camelflauge
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What robs you while you're in the bathtub?

A robber ducky.
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Why did the dinosaur cross the road?

The chicken wasn't around yet.
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How many times does Bill Clinton change a light bulb?

No one knows. Republicans automatically disbelieve him, and no one can ever trust a stinking liberal anyway.
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Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He was a baaaaaaaaad driver.
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Why was the baseball player arrested in the middle of the game?

He was caught stealing second base.
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What is Donald Trumps biggest dilemma now that he's president?

Finding a cabinet position for the thing on his head!
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How many Carl Sagans does it take to change a light bulb?

Billllyuns and billllyuns. Light bulbs are part of the interstellar "goo" that pervades our universe; they are star stuff.
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What does a cat say when somebody steps on
its tail?

Me-ow
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