Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants?

Just in case he got a hole in one!
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What do you call 25 skydiving lawyers?

Skeet.
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What did the laywer name his daughter?

Sue.
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How many grips does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two: One to hold it, one to hammer it in.
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What does a calf become after it's 1 year old?

2 years old.

Cow: "Mooooove over"
Sheep: "Naaaaaaa."
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Where do mice park their boats?

At the hickory dickory dock.
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What did the necktie say to the hat?

You go on ahead. I'll hang around for a while.
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What's worse than a centipede with athlete's foot?

A porcupine with split ends
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How many college girls does it take to change a light bulb?

That's "women," you unfunny jerk!
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What's a dog's favorite food for breakfast?

Pooched eggs.
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