Why did the lamb cross the road?

To get to the baaaaarber shop
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Why does a giraffe have such a long neck?

Because his feet stink
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What's an alligator's favorite drink?

Gator-Ade.
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What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon
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Why do fish live in salt water?

Because pepper makes them sneeze
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How many believable, competent, ``just-right-for-the-job'' presidential candidates does it take to change a light bulb?

It's going to be a dark 4 years, isn't it?
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What do envelopes say when you lick them?

Nothing, it shuts them up!
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What did the Mass Spectrometer say to the Gas Chromatograph?

Breaking up is hard to do.
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How many Director's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Just one more, guys, I promise.
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