Why did the lamb cross the road?

To get to the baaaaarber shop
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Why did the banana split?

It saw the ginger snap.
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What is the show cesium and iodine love watching together?

CSI
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How do you get a cello player to play in tune?

Tell him the key signature has 8 sharps.

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Where are sharks from?

Finland.
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How many Union Lighting Technicians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

It's not a bulb, it's a globe.
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What did the flag say to the pole?

Nothing, it just waved.
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What do you do if your dog chews a dictionary?

Take the words out of his mouth
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What is a pirate's favorite's fish?

A swordfish
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