Why did the lamb cross the road?

To get to the baaaaarber shop
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What do you throw to a drowning lawyer?

His partners.
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How many light bulbs does it take to change a light bulb?

One, if it knows its own Goedel number.
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How many singers from Nashville does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to change it, one to sing about how heartbroken he is at the loss of the old one, one to sing about how madly in love he is with the new one, and one to go "Yee-Hah!" and throw his cowboy hat in the air.
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What did Donald Trump say to the birthday boy?

"Let me see your birth certificate".
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What do you call a cow with no legs?

Ground beef.
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How many Bratzlaver Hasidim does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They will never find a bulb that burns as brightly as the old one.
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What do you call a tooth in a glass of water?

One molar solution.
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How many Carl Sagans does it take to change a light bulb?

Billllyuns and billllyuns. Light bulbs are part of the interstellar "goo" that pervades our universe; they are star stuff.
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