Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

Because he was caught tweeting on a test.
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Do you know how many musicians it takes to change a light bulb?

No, but hum a few bars and I'll fake it.
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What do you call a bruise on a T-Rex?

A dino-sore
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What does Melania see in Donald Trump?

"Ten billion dollars and high cholesterol!"
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What did the frog say when he heard "time flies when you are having fun?"

Time is fun when you're having flies
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Why did the girl throw the butter out the window?

She wanted to see a butterfly.
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What do you call a fat pumpkin?

A plumpkin.
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Why did the basketball player bring his suitcase to his game?

Because he traveled a lot.
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What is King Arthur's favorite fish?

A swordfish
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