Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

He got caught peeping on a test.
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What goes tick-tock, bow-wow, tick-tock, bow-wow?

A watch dog.
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What's the difference between a mosquito and a lawyer?

One is a blood-sucking parasite, the other is an insect.
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What element is a girl's future best friend?

Carbon.
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How do you keep a skunk from smelling?

Plug its nose.
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How many polite New Yorkers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Both of them.
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What kind of jam can you not eat?

A traffic jam.
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How many actors does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one. They don't like to share the spotlight.
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What did Donald Trump say to the birthday boy?

"Let me see your birth certificate".
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