Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

He got caught peeping on a test.
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What do you call a cow in a tornado?

A milkshake
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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What do you call an elephant in a phone booth?

Stuck
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Why did the boy put candy under his pillow?

Because he wanted sweet dreams.
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What do you call a cow that twitches?

Beef jerky
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Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He was a baaaaaaaaad driver.
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The other day I sent my girlfriend a huge pile of snow.

I rang her up, I said "Did you get my drift?".
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I thought about going on an all-almond diet.

But that's just nuts
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