Why did the man take a pencil to bed?

Because he wanted to draw the curtains!
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How many brewers does it take to change a light bulb?

About one third less than for a regular bulb.
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What do you call a mommy cow that just had a calf?

Decalfinated
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What do you call a dinosaur at the rodeo?

A Broncosaurus or a Tyrannosaurus Tex.
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What do you call a cow that twitches?

Beef jerky
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What time is it when an elephant sits on your bed?

Time to get a new bed
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What do you call a guy who's born in Columbus, grows up in Cleveland, and then dies in Cincinnati?

Dead.
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"I went to the zoo the other day, there was only one dog in it,

it was a shitzu."
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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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Why did the girl throw the butter out the window?

She wanted to see a butterfly.
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