Why did the man take a pencil to bed?

Because he wanted to draw the curtains!
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What did the drummer get on his I.Q. Test?

Saliva
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What do you call a crate of ducks?

A box of quackers.
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Making bad chemistry jokes because all the good ones Argon
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How many WASPs does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Silly, WASPs don't screw in a light bulb, they screw in a hot tub.
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Why did the computer squeak?

Someone stepped on its mouse.
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Why did the lamb cross the road?

To get to the baaaaarber shop
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When did the fly fly?

When the spider spied her!
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Why does cheese look sane?

Because everything else on the plate is crackers.
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What do an accordion and a lawsuit have in common?

Everyone is relieved when the case is closed.

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