Why did the man take a pencil to bed?

Because he wanted to draw the curtains!
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What do you call a clown who's in jail?

A silicon.
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What do you get if Bach falls off a horse but has the courage to get on again and continue riding?

Bach in the saddle again.

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What's the difference between a dead skunk in the road and a dead lawyer in the road?

There are skid marks in front of the skunk.
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How many DP's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. No, two. No... How many do we have on the truck?
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Where do soldiers keep their armies?

In their Sleevies!
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What did the alien say to the garden?

Take me to your weeder!
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How many skunks does it take to make a big stink?

A phew.
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What do Russians use for napkins?

Soviets
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"Mommy, everyone says I look like a werewolf."

"Please be quiet and comb your face."
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