Why did the melon jump into the lake?

It wanted to be a watermelon.
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Why did God make snakes just before lawyers?

To practice.
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What is the difference between a car and a bull?

A car only has one horn.
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Why can't a bicycle stand up?

Because it's two tired!
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What room does a ghost not need?

A living room!
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What do you call a chicken in the 1960's?

A funky chicken.
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What did the grape say when the elephant stepped on it?

It gave a little wine
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When one physicist asks another, "What's new?" what's the typical response?

C over lambda.
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What kind of dog always runs a fever?

A hot dog
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What did one magnet say to the other?

I find you very attractive.
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