Why did the melon jump into the lake?

It wanted to be a watermelon.
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Why was Cinderella thrown off the basketball team?

She ran away from the ball.
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Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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What emotional disorder does a gas chromatograph suffer from?

Separation anxiety.
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I would avoid the sushi if I was you.

It’s a little fishy.
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Why did the cow cross the road?

To get to the udder side.
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What do you do if your dog chews a dictionary?

Take the words out of his mouth
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How many ``pro-lifers'' does it take to change a light bulb?

6: 2 to screw in the bulb and 4 to testify that it was lit from the moment they began screwing.
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What would happen if pigs could fly?

The price of bacon would go up.
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What did the flag say to the pole?

Nothing, it just waved.
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