Why did the melon jump into the lake?

It wanted to be a watermelon.
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What do you call a bruise on a T-Rex?

A dino-sore
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I just watched a program about beavers.

It was the best dam program I've ever seen.
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How are doughnuts and golf alike?

They both have a hole in one!
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What do you call a wheel made of iron?

A ferrous wheel.
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What is the best thing to do if you find a gorilla in your bed?

Sleep somewhere else.
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What's the difference between a tuba and a vacumn cleaner?

You have to turn one of them on before it sucks.

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What's the tallest building in the world?

The library, because it has the most stories.
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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to do the screwing, and one to hear the confession.
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What do aliens on the metric system say?

Take me to your liter.
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