Why did the news reporter go to the ice cream parlor?

Because she wanted to get a good scoop.
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What kind of phones do people in jail use?

Cell phones
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Why did Mickey Mouse get whacked in the head?

coz Donald ducked
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What is a lion's favorite state?

Maine
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How many televangelists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. Televangelists screw in motels.
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What do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question?

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How is Donald Trump going to create middle class jobs?

By paying them to cheer for him during campaign events.
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Why did the dog cross the road twice?

He was trying to fetch a boomerang
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What do you get when you cross a stream and a brook?

Wet feet.
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A Bhuddist monk goes to a hotdog stand

and says make me one with everything.
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