Why did the news reporter go to the ice cream parlor?

Because she wanted to get a good scoop.
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What do you call a bankrupt Santa?

Saint Nickel-less.
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What is a tree's favorite drink?

Root beer.
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What's the difference between a jellyfish and a lawyer?

One's a spineless, poisonous blob. The other is a form of sea life.
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How many subscribers to AOL does it take to change a light bulb?

What? You can change light bulbs?
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What's worse than a worm in your apple?

Half a worm.
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What's black and white, black and white, black and white and green?

Three skunks fighting over a pickle

First dog: My master calls me Furball. How about you?
Second Dog: My master calls me Sitboy
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Why do pandas like old movies?

Because they are black and white.
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What do you call a fake noodle?

An impasta
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Why did the singer climb a ladder?

She wanted to reach the high notes!

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