Why did the opera singer go sailing?

Because she wanted to hit the high C's.
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Why do cows go to New York?

To see the moosicals
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I know loads of jokes about cash machines,

I just can't think of one atm.
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How did the chemist survive the famine?

By subsisting on titrations.
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How many Carl Sagans does it take to change a light bulb?

Billllyuns and billllyuns. Light bulbs are part of the interstellar "goo" that pervades our universe; they are star stuff.
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What happened to the man who was stopped for having sodium chloride and a nine-volt in his car?

He was booked for a salt and battery.
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Which runs faster, hot or cold water?

Hot, because you can catch cold.
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What is "HIJKLMNO"?

H2O.
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How many junkies does it take to screw in a light bulb?

``Oh wow, is it like dark, man?''
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