Why did the opera singer go sailing?

Because she wanted to hit the high C's.
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What do you get when you cross poison ivy with a 4-leaf clover?

A rash of good luck.
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Why do cows wear bells?

Because their horns don't work.

There were two cows in a field. The first cow said "moo" and the second cow said "baaaa." The first cow asked the second cow, "why did you say baaaa?" The second cow said, "I'm learning a foreign language."
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What do you call an elephant in a phone booth?

Stuck
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"I went to the zoo the other day, there was only one dog in it,

it was a shitzu."
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What kind of mouse does not eat, drink, or even walk?

A computer mouse.
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Why did the Blonde stare at the Orange Juice carton?

Because it said CONCENTRATE.
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What is a lion's favorite state?

Maine
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What do you call a slow skier?

A slopepoke!
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