Why did the opera singer go sailing?

Because she wanted to hit the high C's.
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I met a Dutch girl with inflatable shoes last week, phoned her up to arrange a date

but unfortunately she'd popped her clogs.

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There were five people under one umbrella. Why didn't they get wet?

It wasn't raining!
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How do you make a goldfish old?

Take away the g
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What is the snake's favorite subject?

Hiss-story
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How many Einsteins does it take to change a light bulb?

That depends on the speed of the change and the mass of the bulb. Or vice versa, of course. It just might be easier to leave the bulb and change the room. It's all relative.
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PMS jokes are not funny...

[Period]
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What kind of flower has lips?

Two-lips!
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How many Klingons does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Two. One to screw it in, and one to stab the other in the back and take all the credit.
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