Why did the opera singer go sailing?

Because she wanted to hit the high C's.
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How can you tell is a singer is at your door?

They can't find the key, and they never know when to come in.
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Why did the cow cross the road?

Because the chicken was on vacation.
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What kind of cars do cats drive?

Catillacs
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How can you tell that a train just went by?

It left its tracks.
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How does Donald Trump plan on deporting 12 million illegal immigrants?

Juan by Juan.
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What do you get when you cross the Godfather with a lawyer?

An offer you can't understand
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I thought about going on an all-almond diet.

But that's just nuts
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Where did the farmer take the pigs on Saturday afternoon?

He took them to a pignic.
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