Why did the opera singer go sailing?

Because she wanted to hit the high C's.
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Why is b always cool?

Because it's between ac.
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What do you call a scared train?

A fright train!
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Know how copper wire was invented?

Two lawyers were fighting over a penny.
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So I went to the Chinese restaurant and this duck came up to me with a red rose and says "Your eyes sparkle like diamonds".

I said, "Waiter, I asked for a-ROMATIC duck".
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How can a pregnant woman tell that she's carrying a future lawyer?

She has an uncontrollable craving for bologna.
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When did the fly fly?

When the spider spied her!
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What's the one thing that never works when it's fixed?

A jury.
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Why do ducks fly south?

Because it's too far to walk!
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