Why did the opera singer go sailing?

Because she wanted to hit the high C's.
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Why can't lawyers do NMR?

Bar magnets have poor homogeneity.
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What do ghosts eat for supper?

Spooketi
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Where can you find a good lawyer?

In the cemetery
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A lorry-load of tortoises crashed into a trainload of terrapins,

What a turtle disaster

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What does cheese like to drink?

Morbier
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A sandwich walks into a bar.

The barman says "Sorry we don't serve food in here"

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What's round and bad-tempered?

A vicious circle.
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What did the Mass Spectrometer say to the Gas Chromatograph?

Breaking up is hard to do.
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