Why did the opera singer go sailing?

Because she wanted to hit the high C's.
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What's the difference between a jellyfish and a lawyer?

One's a spineless, poisonous blob. The other is a form of sea life.
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Why did the doughnut shop close?

The owner got tired of the (w)hole business!
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Why did the Blonde stare at the Orange Juice carton?

Because it said CONCENTRATE.
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How does Donald Trump plan on deporting 12 million illegal immigrants?

Juan by Juan.
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Why do chemists enjoy working with ammonia?

Because it's pretty basic stuff.
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Which candles burn longer, bee's wax or tallow?

Neither, they all burn shorter.
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What is the opposite of a restaurant?

A workaraunt.
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What did one ion say to the other?

I've got my ion you.
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