Why did the opera singer go sailing?

Because she wanted to hit the high C's.
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I have a friend who is a Limo driver . But he has had no clients for two years.

So he has nothing to chauffeur it !
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What did the peanut say to the walnut?

Nothing. Nuts can't talk.
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I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.

I’m just doing it for kicks.
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Why was the cat afraid of a tree?

Because of the bark
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Where do cows go on Saturday night?

To the mooooooovies.
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How many Sound Recordists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

WHAT?
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What did the farmer call the cow that would not give him any milk?

An udder failure.
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What did Michael Jackson say to Woody Allen?

Got two fives for a ten?
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