Why did the opera singer go sailing?

Because she wanted to hit the high C's.
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When is a car not a car?

When it turns into a garage.
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Why should we call the President, Donald "Duck" Trump?

Because you better duck when he's pissed.
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What do whales eat?

Fish and ships.
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Some people believe that becoming a vegitarian is just a mistake...

A Missed-steak.
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What is a cat's favorite movie?

The sound of Mew-sic
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What's the difference between a fish and a piano?

You can't tuna fish.
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Online money has recently been discovered to be a not-yet-identified super heavy element.

The proposed name is: Un-obtainium.
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I have a friend who is a Limo driver . But he has had no clients for two years.

So he has nothing to chauffeur it !
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