Why did the opera singer go sailing?

Because she wanted to hit the high C's.
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What do you call a deer that costs a dollar?

A buck.
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What kind of dress can't be worn?

Address.
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Why do ducks fly south?

Because it's too far to walk!
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What has a head but no body?

A nail.
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What bird can lift the most?

A crane.
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What is Claustrophobia?

The fear of Santa Claus.
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How many Stuntmen does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Five. One to screw it in and four to tell him how bitchin' he looked doing it.
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How many IBM PC owners does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one, but she/he'll have to go out and buy the light bulb adaptor card first, which is extra.
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