Why did the opera singer go sailing?

Because she wanted to hit the high C's.
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What do you call a cow that eats your grass?

A lawn moo-er.
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Have you seen the new HGTV show about the Whitehouse makeover?

It's called "Trump It or Dump It".
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What's the difference between a piano and a tuna?

You can tuna piano, but you can't piano a tuna

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Why did the carpenter fall asleep on the job?

He was board.
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What's the one thing that never works when it's fixed?

A jury.
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Why did the cow go to outer space?

To visit the milky way.
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The new band called 1023MB.

They haven't had any gigs yet
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What school do you have to drop out of to graduate from?

Parachute school!
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