Why did the opera singer go sailing?

Because she wanted to hit the high C's.
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What do you call a thieving alligator?

A crookodile
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Why did the scarecrow win an award?

Because he was outstanding in his field.
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How many sopranos does it take to change a light bulb?

Three. One to climb the ladder while the second kicks the ladder out from under her. And the third to say, "I knew that was too high for you dear."
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What do vampires take when they are sick?

Coffin drops!
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Where did the sheep go on vacation?

The baaaahamas
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Why did the Christmas tree go to the barber?

It needed to be trimmed.
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Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He made an illegal ewe turn.
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Who earns a living by driving his customers away?

A taxi driver.
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