Why did the opera singer go sailing?

Because she wanted to hit the high C's.
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Why did the rooster cross the road?

To prove he wasn't a chicken!
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What creature is smarter than a talking parrot?

A spelling bee!
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What cheese do you use to coax a bear out of the woods with?

Camembert.
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I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day

but I couldn't find any.

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What is a cow's favorite place?

The mooseum.
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A Freudian slip is when you mean to say one thing

but you accidentally say Mother.
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Why are ghosts so bad at lying?

Because you can see right through them!
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What did Donald Trump do before criticizing illegals?

He made sure his pools were clean and his lawns were mowed.
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