Why did the opera singer go sailing?

Because she wanted to hit the high C's.
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When can't you see a cheese?

When it's pasteurised...
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How do you prevent a Summer cold?

Catch it in the Winter!
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How many Einsteins does it take to change a light bulb?

That depends on the speed of the change and the mass of the bulb. Or vice versa, of course. It just might be easier to leave the bulb and change the room. It's all relative.
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Why are giraffes so slow to apologize?

It takes them a long time to swallow their pride.
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What did the alien say to the cat?

Take me to your litter.
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How many WASPs does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Silly, WASPs don't screw in a light bulb, they screw in a hot tub.
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Why did the doughnut shop close?

The owner got tired of the (w)hole business!
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How do you stop a dog barking in the back seat of a car?

Put him in the front seat.
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