Why did the opera singer go sailing?

Because she wanted to hit the high C's.
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What kind of math do Snowy Owls like?

Owlgebra
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Why did the cat go to Minnesota?

To get a mini soda
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What type of cars do elves drive?

Toy-otas.
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How many big black monoliths does it take to change a light bulb?

Sorry, light bulbs are an evolutionary dead end.
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What's black and white and red all over?

A sunburnt zebra.
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How many U.S. Marines does it take to change a light bulb?

Fifty — one to screw in the bulb and 49 to guard him/her.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a trampoline?

You take off your shoes before you jump on a trampoline.
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What do vampires take when they are sick?

Coffin drops!
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