Why did the opera singer go sailing?

Because she wanted to hit the high C's.
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A neutron walks into a bar. He asks the bartender, "How much for a beer?"

The bartender offers him a warm smile and says, "For you, no charge".
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What is Claustrophobia?

The fear of Santa Claus.
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The first time I met my wife, I knew she was a keeper.

She was wearing massive gloves.
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What's a frog's favorite drink?

Croak-a-cola.
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Why did the chicken cross the playground?

To get to the other slide!
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Does it take longer to run from 1st base to 2nd, or from 2nd to 3rd?

From 2nd to 3rd because there's a shortstop in the middle.
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What did the calculator say to the math student?

You can count on me!
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What do you call a crate of ducks?

A box of quackers.
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