Why did the opera singer go sailing?

Because she wanted to hit the high C's.
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How many Einsteins does it take to change a light bulb?

That depends on the speed of the change and the mass of the bulb. Or vice versa, of course. It just might be easier to leave the bulb and change the room. It's all relative.
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What is Donald Trumps biggest dilemma now that he's president?

Finding a cabinet position for the thing on his head!
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What is a horse's favorite sport?

Stable tennis
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Don't trust atoms,

they make up everything.
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How do you know an elephant has been in your refrigerator?

There are footprints in the butter.
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How did the chemist survive the famine?

By subsisting on titrations.
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How do you get a trombonist off of your porch?

Pay him for the pizza

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What do you get if you cross a chicken with a cement mixer?

A brick layer!
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