Why did the opera singer go sailing?

Because she wanted to hit the high C's.
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What game do elephants play when riding in the back of a car?

Squash
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How many subscribers to AOL does it take to change a light bulb?

What? You can change light bulbs?
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I asked the guy sitting next to me if he had any Sodium Hypobromite

He said NaBrO
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What do you call a cow that eats your grass?

A lawn moo-er.
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Why did the rooster cross the road?

To prove he wasn't a chicken!
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A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: "Ugh, that's the ugliest baby I've ever seen!" The woman walks to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her: "The driver just insulted me!"

The man says: "You go up there and tell him off. Go on, I'll hold your monkey for you."
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What happens when you play "the blues" backwards?

Your wife comes back to you, your dog returns to life and you get out of prison.

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A priest, a rabbi and a vicar walk into a bar.

The barman says, "Is this some kind of joke?"
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