Why did the opera singer go sailing?

Because she wanted to hit the high C's.
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How does Donald Trump intend to spice up the Republican Convention?

By relocating it to a casino!
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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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Have you heard the joke about the butter?

I better not tell you, it might spread.
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Which candles burn longer, bee's wax or tallow?

Neither, they all burn shorter.
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A neutron walks into a bar. He asks the bartender, "How much for a beer?"

The bartender offers him a warm smile and says, "For you, no charge".
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Why do chemists like nitrates so much?

They're cheaper than day rates.
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What's a frog's favorite drink?

Croak-a-cola.
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What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

Roberto.
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