Why did the opera singer go sailing?

Because she wanted to hit the high C's.
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What do you get if you cross a cat with a dark horse?

Kitty Perry

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What do you do with a dead chemist?

Barium
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What do you call a dog with a Rolex?

A watch dog.
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How many sound engineers does it take to change a light bulb

None, sound engineers don't do lights
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What bone will a dog never eat?

A trombone.
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What school do you have to drop out of to graduate from?

Parachute school!
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If a long dress is evening wear, what is a suit of armor?

Silverware.
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What did one owl say to the other owl?

Happy Owl-ween!
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