Why did the opera singer go sailing?

Because she wanted to hit the high C's.
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How many gorillas does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Only one, but it sure takes a shitload of light bulbs!
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How many 2nd AD's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Uh...standby, I'll check on that.
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What did the Cinderella fish wear to the ball?

Glass flippers.
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What did the painter say to the wall?

I got you covered.
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Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?

On the bottom.
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Why was the piano player arrested?

Because he got into treble with the cops

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What is the strongest animal?

A snail because it carries it's home.
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What kind of dessert does a ghost like?

I scream!
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