Why did the opera singer go sailing?

Because she wanted to hit the high C's.
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What did the peanut say to the walnut?

Nothing. Nuts can't talk.
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A sandwich walks into a bar.

The barman says "Sorry we don't serve food in here"

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How many DP's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. No, two. No... How many do we have on the truck?
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What did polly the parrot want for the 4th of July?

A fire cracker
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What happened to the man who was stopped for having sodium chloride and a nine-volt in his car?

He was booked for a salt and battery.
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Where do you go to find a million story building?

You go to the Library!
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I met a Dutch girl with inflatable shoes last week, phoned her up to arrange a date

but unfortunately she'd popped her clogs.

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What do you call a 400-pound gorilla?

Sir.
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