Why did the opera singer go sailing?

Because she wanted to hit the high C's.
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How does Donald Trump plan on deporting 12 million illegal immigrants?

Juan by Juan.
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It's Hans free.
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What does a cat call a hummingbird?

Fast food.
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How many light bulbs does it take to change a light bulb?

One, if it knows its own Goedel number.
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Slept like a log last night........

Woke up in the fireplace.

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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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How many music teachers does it take to screw in a light bulb??

None. music teachers can't afford lightbulbs.
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What do lawyers wear in court?

Lawsuits.
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