Why did the opera singer go sailing?

Because she wanted to hit the high C's.
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What do you do if your dog chews a dictionary?

Take the words out of his mouth
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How many conservatives does it take to change a light bulb?

One; after reflecting in the twilight on the merit of the previous bulb.
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What did the scientist say when he found 2 isotopes of helium?

HeHe
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Some people believe that becoming a vegitarian is just a mistake...

A Missed-steak.
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Who makes dinosaur clothes?

A dino-sewer.
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Do you know how to save a drowning lawyer?

Take your foot off his head.
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What do basketball players and babies have in common?

They both dribble.
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How many music teachers does it take to screw in a light bulb??

None. music teachers can't afford lightbulbs.
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