Why did the opera singer go sailing?

Because she wanted to hit the high C's.
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What did the Cinderella fish wear to the ball?

Glass flippers.
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When Susan's boyfriend proposed marriage to her she said: "I love the simple things in life,

but I don't want one of them for my husband".

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A Freudian slip is when you mean to say one thing

but you accidentally say Mother.
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What's gray, eats fish, and lives in Washington, D.C.?

The Presidential Seal.
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The oddly pleasant feeling of looking down on a physist as they drink the last of their beer.

The strange charm of a top down bottoms up.
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Why is tennis such a loud game?

Because each player raises a racquet.
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If minorities have the race card and women have the gender card, what do rednecks have?

The Trump Card
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What do you call a gorilla wearing earmuffs?

Anything you like, he can't hear you.
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