Why did the opera singer go sailing?

Because she wanted to hit the high C's.
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Why are ghosts so bad at lying?

Because you can see right through them!
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How many sheep do you need to make a sweater?

I don't know. I didn't think sheep could knit
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The other day I sent my girlfriend a huge pile of snow.

I rang her up, I said "Did you get my drift?".
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What's the first thing a musician says at work?

"Would you like fries with that?"

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How many New Yorkers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None 'o yo' fuckin' business!
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What is a tree's favorite drink?

Root beer.
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What is a pirate's favorite's fish?

A swordfish
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Why was the math book sad?

It had too many problems.
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