Why did the opera singer go sailing?

Because she wanted to hit the high C's.
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What do you call a cow that twitches?

Beef jerky
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A Freudian slip is when you mean to say one thing

but you accidentally say Mother.
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What do envelopes say when you lick them?

Nothing, it shuts them up!
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What happens when spectroscopists are idle?

They turn from notating nuclear spins to notating unclear puns.
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What game do elephants play when riding in the back of a car?

Squash
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What cell phones do travelling nuns use?

Virgin mobile.
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What did one owl say to the other owl?

Happy Owl-ween!
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Why did the elephant leave the circus?

He was tired of working for peanuts.
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