Why did the opera singer go sailing?

Because she wanted to hit the high C's.
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There were two cows in a paddock. One of the cows says, "moo"

and the other one says, "That's what I was going to say."
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Where do cows go on Saturday night?

To the mooooooovies.
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Do you know how many musicians it takes to change a light bulb?

No, but hum a few bars and I'll fake it.
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Why was the piano player arrested?

Because he got into treble with the cops

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How many guitar players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five. One to change the bulb and eleven to say they could do it faster.

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What do you do when your chair breaks?

Call a chairman.
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If H20 is water, what is H204?

Drinking, bathing, washing, swimming, etc.
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How do you make an egg laugh?

Tell it a yolk.
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