Why did the opera singer go sailing?

Because she wanted to hit the high C's.
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Why does a dog wag its tail?

Because there's no one else to wag it for him.
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Why did the spy stay in bed?

Because he was under cover.
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Humpty Trumpty wants a great wall.

Humpty Trumpty wants Mexico to pay for it all.
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Why do fish live in salt water?

Because pepper makes them sneeze
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What did the drummer get on his I.Q. Test?

Saliva
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What goes 99 thump,99 thump,99 thump?

A centipede with a wooden leg.
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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How many Executive Producers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Executive Producers don't screw in a light bulb, they screw in a hot tub.
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