Why did the opera singer go sailing?

Because she wanted to hit the high C's.
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Why do chemists enjoy working with ammonia?

Because it's pretty basic stuff.
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Did you hear about the restaurant on the moon?

Great food, no atmosphere.
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What's the difference between a fish and a piano?

You can't tuna fish.
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What do you call a pig that does karate?

A pork chop.
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What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car?

Carlos.
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Why don't bears wear shoes?

What's the use, they'd still have bear feet
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When does New Year's Day come before Christmas Day?

Every year!
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What's the difference between an accountant and a lawyer?

Accountants know they're boring.
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