Why did the opera singer go sailing?

Because she wanted to hit the high C's.
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Why did the Christmas tree go to the barber?

It needed to be trimmed.
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How is a dog like a telephone?

It has a collar I.D.
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How do you get a lawyer out of a tree?

Cut the rope.
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What has ears like a cat and a tail like a cat, but is not a cat?

A kitten.
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What's the difference between a musician and a 14-inch pizza?

A 14-inch pizza can feed a family of four

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What kind of cars do cats drive?

Catillacs
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What do you call a lawyer with an IQ of 100?
Your Honor.
What do you call a lawyer with an IQ of 50

Senator.
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What do you call a fish without an eye?

Fsh
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