Why did the opera singer go sailing?

Because she wanted to hit the high C's.
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I tried nutella on some salmon

got salmonella.
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What do you call a thieving alligator?

A crookodile
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Why did Mickey Mouse get whacked in the head?

coz Donald ducked
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What do you call a pig who knows karate?

Porkchop
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Who's richer — the butcher, the baker, or the candlestick maker?

The baker, because he has lots of dough.
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Now that Macy's has severed ties, with Donald Trump, how can the average American look like the President?

By hunting and killing their own hair piece.
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Why was the woman fired from the car assembly line?

She was caught taking a brake.
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Why are kindergarten teachers so good?

They can make little things count.
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