Why did the opera singer go sailing?

Because she wanted to hit the high C's.
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What do you get when you cross a Christmas tree with an apple?

A pineapple!
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What is the chemical formula for "coffee"?

CoFe2
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What did the peanut say to the walnut?

Nothing. Nuts can't talk.
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Which candles burn longer, bee's wax or tallow?

Neither, they all burn shorter.
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How can you tell when a lawyer is lying?

Their lips are moving.
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How many IBM engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They just let Marketing explain that "Dead Bulb" is a feature.
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What do you do when 50 zombies surround your house?

Hope it's Halloween!!
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What time is it when 5 dogs chase 1 cat?

Five after one.
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