Why did the opera singer go sailing?

Because she wanted to hit the high C's.
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There were two cows in a paddock. One of the cows says, "moo"

and the other one says, "That's what I was going to say."
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How much does a hipster weigh?

An instagram.
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Kim Kardashian is saddled with a huge arse.

but enough about Kanye West.
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What is a cow's favorite place?

The mooseum.
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What do you call a cow that's just given birth?

[De-Calf-Inated]
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How many Development Executives does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to take notes while the other screws it into the faucet.
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Where do you learn to make banana splits?

In sundae school.
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Why did the boy put candy under his pillow?

Because he wanted sweet dreams.
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