Why did the opera singer go sailing?

Because she wanted to hit the high C's.
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How many fire safety guys dose it take to screw in a light bulb?

One -- but it's an 8 hour minimum.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a gigolo?

A gigolo only screws one person at a time.
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What does cheese say to itself in the mirror?

Halloumi.
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How many singers from Nashville does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to change it, one to sing about how heartbroken he is at the loss of the old one, one to sing about how madly in love he is with the new one, and one to go "Yee-Hah!" and throw his cowboy hat in the air.
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What goes 99 thump,99 thump,99 thump?

A centipede with a wooden leg.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a leech?

After you die, a leech stops sucking your blood.
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What's a frog's favorite drink?

Croak-a-cola.
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How did the bubble gum cross the road?

On the bottom of the chicken's foot!
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