Why did the opera singer go sailing?

Because she wanted to hit the high C's.
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Have you seen the new HGTV show about the Whitehouse makeover?

It's called "Trump It or Dump It".
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What robs you while you're in the bathtub?

A robber ducky.
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Why was the math book sad?

It had too many problems.
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What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?

Frostbite.
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How are an apple and a lawyer alike?

They both look good hanging from a tree.
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Why did the cow cross the road?

To get to the udder side.
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What do you call a parrot that flew away?

A polygon
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How many fundamentalists does it take to change a light bulb?

None; the Bible doesn't mention any light bulbs.
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