Why did the opera singer go sailing?

Because she wanted to hit the high C's.
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How do you cut a wave in half?

Use a sea saw.
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What do you do if your dog chews a dictionary?

Take the words out of his mouth
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I asked the guy sitting next to me if he had any Sodium Hypobromite

He said NaBrO
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Why did the scarecrow win an award?

Because he was outstanding in his field.
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What do aliens on the metric system say?

Take me to your liter.
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What do a viola and a lawsuit have in common?

Everyone is happy when the case is closed

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How do you catch a tame bird?

The tame way, unique up on it!
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What's the name of the archeologist that works at Scotland Yard?

Sherlock Bones.
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