Why did the opera singer go sailing?

Because she wanted to hit the high C's.
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What do Santa's elves learn in school?

The Elfabet.
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How did the butcher introduce his wife?

Meet Patty.
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What do you call a dinosaur that never gives up?

A try and try and try-ceratops
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What do you call a dog that likes bubble baths?

A shampoodle
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H2O is water and H2O2 is hydrogen peroxide. What is H2O4?

Drinking.
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What do you call a dinosaur in a car accident?

A tyrannosauraus wreck
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What did one cow say to the other?

Mooooooove over
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What did the flag say to the pole?

Nothing, it just waved.
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