Why did the opera singer go sailing?

Because she wanted to hit the high C's.
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Why did the cow cross the road?

Because the chicken was on vacation.
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What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car?

Carlos.
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How many Christians does it take to change a light bulb?

Three, but they're really only one.
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

Because he was caught tweeting on a test.
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I wouldn't buy anything with velcro.

It's a total rip-off.
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What do you call a cow that plays a musical instrument?

A Moo-sician!

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Why did the cow go to outer space?

To visit the milky way.
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