Why did the opera singer go sailing?

Because she wanted to hit the high C's.
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Kim Kardashian is saddled with a huge arse.

but enough about Kanye West.
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How do you stop an elephant from charging?

Take away his credit card
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Went to the corner shop -

bought 4 corners.

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What do you call a pig that does karate?

A pork chop.
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When is it bad luck to be followed by a black cat?

When you're a mouse.
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What's round and bad-tempered?

A vicious circle.
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There was an explosion at a cheese factory in France...

all that was left was de brie.
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What happened when 500 hares got loose on Main Street?

The police had to comb the area.
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