Why did the opera singer go sailing?

Because she wanted to hit the high C's.
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What do Russians use for napkins?

Soviets
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Why was the ant so confused?

Because all his uncles were "ants"!
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What do planets like to read?

Comet books!
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How did the egg cross the road?

It scrambled across!
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How many [ethnic] gods does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to hold the bulb and the other to rotate the planet.
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Why does the Donald sleep with a potato in his briefs?

Because he want to wake up some day as America's First Dictator.
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What does a skeleton say before dinner?

Bone appetit!
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What did Donald Trump do before criticizing illegals?

He made sure his pools were clean and his lawns were mowed.
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