Why did the opera singer go sailing?

Because she wanted to hit the high C's.
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What did the picture say to the wall?

I've been framed!
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Two chemists go into a restaurant.
The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O."

The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" -- and he died.
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What did one egg say to the other egg?

Let's get crackin!
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What do you call a deer with no eyes?

No I deer
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Why are giraffes so slow to apologize?

It takes them a long time to swallow their pride.
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How many magicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Depends on what you want to change it into.
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What do you get when you plant a frog?

A cr-oak tree.
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How does a penguin build it's house?

Igloos it together.
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