Why did the orange stop in the middle of the hill?

It ran out of juice!
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How many hardware folks does it take to change a light bulb?

None. That's a software problem.
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How many polite New Yorkers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Both of them.
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Why did Mozart kill his chickens?

Because they always ran around going "Bach! Bach! Bach!"

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What did the calculator say to the math student?

You can count on me!
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How many nuclear engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

Seven. One to install the new bulb and six to figure out what to do with the old one for the next 10,000 years.
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So I met this gangster who pulls up the back of people's pants,

it was Wedgie Kray.

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What's the definition of perfect pitch?

When you toss a banjo in the garbage and it hits an accordion.

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Why did the girl throw the butter out the window?

She wanted to see a butterfly.
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What has three letters and starts with gas?

A car
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