Why did the orange stop in the middle of the hill?

It ran out of juice!
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How many plastic surgeons does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, but he'll also want to do something about your nose.
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There's two fish in a tank, and one says "How do you drive this thing?"
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What has four legs but never stands?

A Chair!
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How did the telephone propose to his girlfriend?

He gave her a ring.
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Have you heard the one about a chemist who was reading a book about helium?

He just couldn't put it down.
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How many teamsters does it take to change a light bulb?

``Twelve. Ya got a problem with that?''
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Two aerials meet on a roof - fall in love - get married.

The ceremony was rubbish - but the reception was brilliant.

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What did the candle say to the other candle?

I'm going out tonight!
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What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

Roberto.
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