Why did the orange stop in the middle of the hill?

It ran out of juice!
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What do you call a dog with a Rolex?

A watch dog.
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I thought about going on an all-almond diet.

But that's just nuts
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Who can hold up a bus with one hand?

A crossing guard.
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How many surrealists does it take to change a light bulb?

The fish.
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How many Agents does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Actually, agents will screw in just about anything.
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Why did the baseball player bring a rope to the game?

Because he wanted to tie the score!
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Why did the student eat her homework?

Because the teacher said it was a piece of cake!
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How many Iraqis does it take to screw in a light bulb?

It doesn't matter, they don't have any electricity any more.
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How many drummers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They have machines to do that now.
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