Why did the orange stop in the middle of the hill?

It ran out of juice!
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What can you hold without ever touching it?

A conversation.
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What do bees do with their honey?

They cell it.
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How many alto sax players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five: one to handle the bulb and four to contemplate how David Sanborn would've done it.
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A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: "Ugh, that's the ugliest baby I've ever seen!" The woman walks to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her: "The driver just insulted me!"

The man says: "You go up there and tell him off. Go on, I'll hold your monkey for you."
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Why is a skeleton so mean?

He doesn't have a heart.
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What do you do if your dog chews a dictionary?

Take the words out of his mouth
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What does the winner of the race lose?

His breath.
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What cheese do you use to coax a bear out of the woods with?

Camembert.
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What did one magnet say to the other?

I find you very attractive.
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