Why did the orange stop in the middle of the hill?

It ran out of juice!
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How many Macintosh users does it take to change a light bulb?

None. You have to replace the whole motherboard.
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How many alto sax players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five: one to handle the bulb and four to contemplate how David Sanborn would've done it.
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How do you know the economy is only getting worse?

On the latest episode of "Celebrity Apprentice", Donald Trump fired himself!
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How do you make a goldfish old?

Take away the g
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I went down the local supermarket, I said, "I want to make a complaint, this vinegar's got lumps in it",

he said, "Those are pickled onions".

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How many Carl Sagans does it take to change a light bulb?

Billllyuns and billllyuns. Light bulbs are part of the interstellar "goo" that pervades our universe; they are star stuff.
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How do you make a hot dog stand?

Steal its chair.
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Why did the oreo go to the dentist?

To get his filling!
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How many hardware engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Any changes will have to be implemented in software.
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