Why did the orange stop in the middle of the hill?

It ran out of juice!
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How is a dog like a telephone?

It has a collar I.D.
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How many supporters of George W. Bush does it take to change a light bulb?

None. First, denounce the nearest Democrats as liberal pantywaists who deliberately caused the bulb to blow. Second, announce that the Bush administration has proved that the science of electricity is faulty, so no action ever needs to be taken on global light change. Third, keep the need for a new light bulb strictly secret. Fourth, use the money for new light bulbs as an excuse for another tax cut for Bush's wealthy friends. Fifth, explain that you would never "disassemble" about the need for light, you are way too busy spreading freedom and democracy in the Middle East by eliminating freedom and democracy in the United States.
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Where do cows go on Saturday night?

To the mooooooovies.
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What kind of cat should you never play games with?

A cheetah
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How do they serve smart hamburgers?

On honor rolls.
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How many PA' does it take to screw in a light bulb?

What's a light bulb?
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Where does an elephant pack his luggage?

In his trunk
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When is it bad luck to be followed by a black cat?

When you're a mouse.
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Why was the mole of oxygen molecules excited when he walked out of the singles bar?

He got Avogadro's number!
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