Why did the orange stop in the middle of the hill?

It ran out of juice!
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What kind of pants do ghosts wear?

Boo-Jeans.
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How do you get a trumpet to sound like a french horn?

Put your hand in the bell and play a lot of wrong notes.

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What do you call a deer with no eyes?

No I deer
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What do Santa's elves drink?

Minnesoda.
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How many Christians does it take to change a light bulb?

Three, but they're really only one.
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Why shouldn't Donald Trump rag on illegal immigrants?

Because an undocumented worker has been living on his head for the past 2 decades!
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What's the definition of a minor second?

Two flutes playing in unison.

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Why does a dog wag its tail?

Because there's no one else to wag it for him.
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How many fundamentalists does it take to change a light bulb?

None; the Bible doesn't mention any light bulbs.
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