Why did the orange stop in the middle of the hill?

It ran out of juice!
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How do you fix a broken brass instrument?

With a Tuba glue.

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What is the most important rule in chemistry?

Never lick the spoon!
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My mother-in-law fell down a wishing well,

I was amazed, I never knew they worked.

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Why did the singer climb a ladder?

She wanted to reach the high notes!

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A proton and a neutron are walking down the street.
The proton says, "Wait, I dropped an electron help me look for it."

The neutron says "Are you sure?" The proton replies "I'm positive."
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What do you get from a bad-tempered shark?

As far away as possible.
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Why did God make snakes just before lawyers?

To practice.
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A small piece of sodium that lived in a test tube fell in love with a Bunsen burner. "Oh Bunsen, my flame," the sodium pined. "I melt whenever I see you,"

The Bunsen burner replied, "It's just a phase you're going through."
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How do you wake up Lady Gaga?

You Poke her face.

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