Why did the orange stop in the middle of the hill?

It ran out of juice!
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What do you get when you cross a blonde and a lawyer?

I don't know. There are some things even a blonde won't do.
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How does a penguin build it's house?

Igloos it together.
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Why did the opera singer go sailing?

Because she wanted to hit the high C's.

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How do you make a goldfish old?

Take away the g

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Why didn't the rooster cross the road?

Because it was chicken.

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What has 4 wheels, gives milk, and eats grass.

A cow on a skateboard.

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How many DP's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. No, two. No... How many do we have on the truck?

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How do you make a cello sound beautiful?

Sell it and buy a violin

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How does a dog stop a video?

He presses the paws button.

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