Why did the orange stop in the middle of the hill?

It ran out of juice!
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What's the best parting gift?

A comb.
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Why did the cow go in the spaceship?

It wanted to see the mooooooon!
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What did the flag say to the pole?

Nothing, it just waved.
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What do you call a public servant who doesn't take crap from Republicans or Democrats?

Donald Trump.
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What is a parents favorite Christmas carol?

Silent night!
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How many IBM engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They just let Marketing explain that "Dead Bulb" is a feature.
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What do you get from a bad-tempered shark?

As far away as possible.
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Why did the boy take a ladder to school?

He wanted to go to high school!
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What happens when you play "the blues" backwards?

Your wife comes back to you, your dog returns to life and you get out of prison.

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