Why did the orange stop in the middle of the hill?

It ran out of juice!
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Some lettuce, an egg, and a faucet had a race. What was the result?

The lettuce came in ahead, the egg got beat and the faucet is still running.
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I just watched a debate as to which cartoons were better- Disney or Warner Bros.

I have to say it got very animated.
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What's in the middle of nowhere?

The letter H.
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What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

Roberto.
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What do you get when you cross a Christmas tree with an apple?

A pineapple!
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I wouldn't buy anything with velcro.

It's a total rip-off.
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Where do fortune tellers dance?

At the crystal ball.
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It’s Hans free.
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How does an attorney sleep?

First he lies on one side, then he lies on the other.
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