Why did the orange stop in the middle of the hill?

It ran out of juice!
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What do you get from a cow at the North Pole?

Ice cream.
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Why did the chicken cross the playground?

To get to the other slide!
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Why did the TV cross the road?

Because it wanted to be a flat screen.
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What did the calculator say to the math student?

You can count on me!
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What goes 99 thump,99 thump,99 thump?

A centipede with a wooden leg.
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What's a tree's favorite drink?

Rootbeer.
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The first time I met my wife, I knew she was a keeper.

She was wearing massive gloves.
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What kind of shoes do bannanas make?

Slippers!
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Why are elephants wrinkled?

Because they don't fit on a ironing board
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