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Why did the orange stop in the middle of the hill?
It ran out of juice!
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Why was the mouse afraid of the water?
Catfish
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Two chemists go into a restaurant.
The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O."
The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" -- and he died.
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How many fire safety guys dose it take to screw in a light bulb?
One -- but it's an 8 hour minimum.
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How did the bubble gum cross the road?
On the bottom of the chicken's foot!
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What do you call a deer with no eyes?
No I deer
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What is worse then having one baby screaming?
Two babies screaming!
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How many junkies does it take to screw in a light bulb?
``Oh wow, is it like dark, man?''
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Why doesn't Donald Trump sweat like Marco Rubio?
Because he has such yuuuuge fans!
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A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse. "But why?" they asked, as they moved off.
"because," he said "I can't stand chess nuts boasting in an open foyer."
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