Why did the orange stop in the middle of the hill?

It ran out of juice!
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What do vampires take when they are sick?

Coffin drops!
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Why didn't the skeleton go to the ball?

Because he had no BODY to go with.
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How many televangelists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. Televangelists screw in motels.
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A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: "Ugh, that's the ugliest baby I've ever seen!" The woman walks to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her: "The driver just insulted me!"

The man says: "You go up there and tell him off. Go on, I'll hold your monkey for you."
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What has four legs and goes "Oom, Oom"?

A cow walking backwards
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What's a puppy's favorite kind of pizza?

Pupperoni.
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me!
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Why is Superman's costume so tight?

Because he wears a size "S".
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Why did Bach have so many children?

He did not have a stop on his organ.

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