Why did the orange stop in the middle of the hill?

It ran out of juice!
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What do you call a beautiful woman on a trombonist's arm?

A tattoo.

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How many does it take to screw in a light bulb?

10. One to hold the bulb and nine to rotate the ladder.
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Police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks.

They charged one - and let the other one off.

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How many Agents does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Actually, agents will screw in just about anything.
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If the Silver Surfer and Iron Man team up, they'd be alloys.
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I went to the doctors the other day and I said, 'Have you got anything for wind?'

So he gave me a kite.

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How many Feminists does it take to change a light bulb?

That's not funny!!!
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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to do the screwing, and one to hear the confession.
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Why are elephants wrinkled?

Because they don't fit on a ironing board
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