Why did the orange stop in the middle of the hill?

It ran out of juice!
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Why does hamburger yield lower energy than steak?

Because it's in the ground state.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a liar?

The pronunciation.
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How does a pig go to hospital?

In a hambulance.
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How many 2nd AD's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Uh...standby, I'll check on that.
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So I went to the Chinese restaurant and this duck came up to me with a red rose and says "Your eyes sparkle like diamonds".

I said, "Waiter, I asked for a-ROMATIC duck".
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Why is Superman's costume so tight?

Because he wears a size "S".
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Where do orcas hear music?

Orca-stras
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What did the ghost say to the other ghost?

Do you believe in humans?
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