Why did the oreo go to the dentist?

To get his filling!
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How many sound engineers does it take to change a light bulb

None, sound engineers don't do lights
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I wouldn't buy anything with velcro.

It's a total rip-off.
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What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?

Frostbite.
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What do you call a deer with no eyes?

No I deer
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What happened when the lion ate the comedian?

He felt funny.
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How many actors does it take to screw in a light bulb?

100: One to do it and ninety-nine to say "I could've done that."
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What is only a small box but can weigh over a hundred pounds?

A scale.
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Went to the paper shop -

it had blown away.
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How many Yuppies (WASPs) does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to call the electrician, and one to mix the drinks.
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