Why did the oreo go to the dentist?

To get his filling!
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Have you heard the joke about the butter?

I better not tell you, it might spread.
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What do you call a sleeping bull?

A bulldozer
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What did the belly button say just before it left?

I'm outtie here!

Tom: I bet I can make you say purple.
Joe: How?
Tom: What colors are in the American flag?
Joe: Red, white and blue.
Tom: I told you I can make you say red.
Joe: You said purple!
Tom: I told you I could make you say purple!
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What do you get when you plant a frog?

A cr-oak tree.
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How many Trumpet players does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one. But he'll leave a big puddle of spit on the floor underneath him.
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How many referral agents does it take to change a light bulb?

Two: One to screw you out of a fee, and the other to send you to a store where they ran out of bulbs weeks ago.
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What do Santa's elves drink?

Minnesoda.
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What is at the end of everything?

The letter G.
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Why did the pianist keep banging his head against the keys?

He was playing by ear

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