Why did the pianist keep banging his head against the keys?

He was playing by ear

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What did the momma buffalo say to her son before he went to school?

Bison
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I tried nutella on some salmon

got salmonella.
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What do you call a dinosaur that never gives up?

A try and try and try-ceratops
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What creature is smarter than a talking parrot?

A spelling bee!
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Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.

It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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Why did the doughnut shop close?

The owner got tired of the (w)hole business!
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Clowns divorce:

custardy battle.
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What's worse than a worm in your apple?

Half a worm.
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What do you call two ants that run away to get married?

Ant-elopes!
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