Why did the pianist keep banging his head against the keys?

He was playing by ear

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Did you hear about the restaurant on the moon?

Great food, no atmosphere.
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What did Michael Jackson say to Woody Allen?

Got two fives for a ten?
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Why are elephants wrinkled?

Because they don't fit on a ironing board
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What's the difference between a dead skunk in the road and a dead lawyer in the road?

There are skid marks in front of the skunk.
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Trump: "Foreign Policy?,

if you mess with the United States, there will be hell toupee."

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What is as big as an elephant but weighs nothing?

Its shadow
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What is Donald Trumps biggest dilemma now that he's president?

Finding a cabinet position for the thing on his head!
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What did one egg say to the other egg?

Let's get crackin'!
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What has one horn and gives milk?

A milk truck.
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