Why did the pianist keep banging his head against the keys?

He was playing by ear

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What did Jay-z call his wife before they got married?

Feyonce

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What kind of mouse does not eat, drink, or even walk?

A computer mouse.
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Why were the teacher's eyes crossed?

She couldn't control her pupils.
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What do you call a pig who knows karate?

Porkchop
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How many magicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Depends on what you want to change it into.
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Why don't aliens eat clowns?

Because they taste funny!
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What did the candle say to the other candle?

I'm going out tonight!
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What do you call a bruise on a T-Rex?

A dino-sore
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What do you get when you cross a stream and a brook?

Wet feet.
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