Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He was a baaaaaaaaad driver.
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How does a bird with a broken wing manage to land safely?

With its sparrowchute.
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What do you call a cow that twitches?

Beef jerky
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What happened when the butcher backed up into his meat grinder?

he got a little behind in his work.
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Why did God make snakes just before lawyers?

To practice.
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How many managers does it take to change a light bulb?

Nearly unanswerable, since the one who tries to change it usually drops it, and the others call for a planning session.
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Why can't hippos ride bicycles?

Bike helmets don't fit hippos
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What do Santa's elves drink?

Minnesoda.
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How do you make a fire with two sticks?

Make sure one is a match!
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