Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He was a baaaaaaaaad driver.
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What has a head but no body?

A nail.
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Were does a boat go when it is sick?

To the dock.
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I'll call you later.

Don't call me later, call me Dad.
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How many ``pro-lifers'' does it take to change a light bulb?

6: 2 to screw in the bulb and 4 to testify that it was lit from the moment they began screwing.
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How many Bratzlaver Chassidim does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They will never find one that burned as brightly as the first one.
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How many mice does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Only two, but the hard part is getting them into the light bulb.
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Why do fish live in salt water?

Because pepper makes them sneeze
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What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon!
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