Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He was a baaaaaaaaad driver.
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What do you call a crate of ducks?

A box of quackers.
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What has four legs and goes "Oom, Oom"?

A cow walking backwards
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What do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question?

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How many gods does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to hold the bulb and the other to rotate the planet.
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A lorry-load of tortoises crashed into a trainload of terrapins,

What a turtle disaster

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How do you stop an elephant from charging?

Take away his credit card
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Have you seen the new HGTV show about the Whitehouse makeover?

It's called "Trump It or Dump It".
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Where do orcas hear music?

Orca-stras
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