Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He made an illegal ewe turn.
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Did you hear about the restaurant on the moon?

Great food, no atmosphere.
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I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.

I’m just doing it for kicks.
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Four fonts walk into a bar

the barman says "Oi - get out! We don't want your type in here"

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How many music teachers does it take to screw in a light bulb??

None. music teachers can't afford lightbulbs.
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What did the baby corn ask the mother corn?

Where is pop corn?
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Helium walks into a bar,
The bar tender says "We don't serve noble gasses in here."

Helium doesn't react.
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What's the difference between a tuba and a vacumn cleaner?

You have to turn one of them on before it sucks.

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Kim Kardashian is saddled with a huge arse.

but enough about Kanye West.
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