Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He made an illegal ewe turn.
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What did the peanut say to the elephant?

Nothing, peanuts don't talk.
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How many record producers does it take to change a lightbulb?

Two… one to tell the engineer to do it, the other to say "I don't know, what do you think?"

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What do you call snake with no clothes on?

Snaked.
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A sandwich walks into a bar.

The barman says "Sorry we don't serve food in here"

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What game do elephants play when riding in the back of a car?

Squash
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How many Yuppies (WASPs) does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to call the electrician, and one to mix the drinks.
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Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He was a baaaaaaaaad driver.
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Why do fish live in salt water?

Because pepper makes them sneeze
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