Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He made an illegal ewe turn.
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How do you cut a wave in half?

Use a sea saw.
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I'm sorry we can't let the elephants back into the public pool.

They keep dropping their trunks.
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How many (Generals/Politicians) does it take to change a light bulb?

1,000,001: One to change the bulb and 1,000,000 to rebuild civilization to the point where they need light bulbs again.
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What did the octopus say to his girlfriend when he proposed?

Can I have your hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand in marriage?
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What is a vampire's favorite fruit?

A nectarine!
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How many punk rockers does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and seventeen on the guest list.
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Why did the scarecrow win an award?

Because he was outstanding in his field.
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Where did the sheep go on vacation?

The baaaahamas
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