Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He made an illegal ewe turn.
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How do you prevent a Summer cold?

Catch it in the Winter!
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What do you call the best butter on the farm?

A goat.
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What do you call a messy hippo?

A hippopota-mess
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The first time I met my wife, I knew she was a keeper.

She was wearing massive gloves.
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How many gorillas does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Only one, but it sure takes a shitload of light bulbs!
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Why did the skeleton cross the road?

To get to the body shop.
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What did the sardine call the submarine?

A can of people.
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Why do you bring fish to a party?

Because it goes good with chips.
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