Why did the poultry farmer become a school teacher?

So he could grade his eggs.
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How many Development Executives does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to take notes while the other screws it into the faucet.
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What has four legs but never stands?

A Chair!
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When is it bad luck to be followed by a black cat?

When you're a mouse.
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Where do you go to find a million story building?

You go to the Library!
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I just watched a debate as to which cartoons were better- Disney or Warner Bros.

I have to say it got very animated.
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How do you know the economy is only getting worse?

On the latest episode of "Celebrity Apprentice", Donald Trump fired himself!
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What happened when the lion ate the comedian?

He felt funny.
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How do you know Donald Trump is talking to you?

Cause your the only one Hair.
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