Why did the poultry farmer become a school teacher?

So he could grade his eggs.
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Trump: "Foreign Policy?,

if you mess with the United States, there will be hell toupee."

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What concert costs 45 cents?

50 cent featuring Nickelback

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Where does a ten ton elephant sit?

Anywhere it wants to
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What did the little girl say when she had to choose between a tricycle and a candy bar?

"Trike or Treat"?
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How do you handle dangerous cheese?

Caerphilly.
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How many UNIX hacks does it take to change a light bulb?

As many as you want; they're all virtual anyway.
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What did the peanut say to the walnut?

Nothing. Nuts can't talk.
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If H2O is the formula for water, what is the formula for ice?

H2O cubed.
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