Why did the poultry farmer become a school teacher?

So he could grade his eggs.
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My phone will ring at 2 in the morning, and my wife'll look at me and go, "Who's that calling at this time?' "I don't know!

If I knew that we wouldn't need the bloody phone!"

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How do you make Halloween great again?

By carving a Trumpkin.
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What do you call a cow that eats your grass?

A lawn moo-er.
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I'll tell you what I love doing more than anything: trying to pack myself in a small suitcase.

I can hardly contain myself.

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What did rural America tell Donald Trump?

You're Hired.
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You see my next-door neighbour worships exhaust pipes,

he's a catholic converter.


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What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

Roberto.
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What's brown and looks really good on a lawyer?

A Doberman.
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