Why did the rooster cross the road?

To prove he wasn't a chicken!
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Why does a dog wag its tail?

Because there's no one else to wag it for him.
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What does the toast wear to bed?

Jammies!
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How many does it take to screw in a light bulb?

10. One to hold the bulb and nine to rotate the ladder.
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How many militarists does it take to change a light bulb?

1,000,001: One to change the bulb and 1,000,000 to rebuild civilization to the point where they need light bulbs again.
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Why did the dinosaur cross the road?

The chicken wasn't around yet.
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What do you call a dinosaur in a car accident?

A tyrannosauraus wreck
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Why are babies good at soccer?

Because they dribble!
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Online money has recently been discovered to be a not-yet-identified super heavy element.

The proposed name is: Un-obtainium.
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Why didn't the skeleton cross the road?

He didn't have any guts!
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