Why did the rooster cross the road?

To prove he wasn't a chicken!
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There was an explosion at a cheese factory in France...

all that was left was de brie.
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What did one egg say to the other egg?

You crack me up!
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My phone will ring at 2 in the morning, and my wife'll look at me and go, "Who's that calling at this time?' "I don't know!

If I knew that we wouldn't need the bloody phone!"

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How many referral agents does it take to change a light bulb?

Two: One to screw you out of a fee, and the other to send you to a store where they ran out of bulbs weeks ago.
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I know loads of jokes about cash machines,

I just can't think of one atm.
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Why did the cat go to Minnesota?

To get a mini soda
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What goes around a haunted house and never stops?

A fence.
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What do you call the best butter on the farm?

A goat.
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What do you call a messy hippo?

A hippopota-mess
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