Why did the scarecrow win an award?

Because he was outstanding in his field.
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What did the peanut say to the elephant?

Nothing, peanuts don't talk.
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How do you stop a dog barking in the back seat of a car?

Put him in the front seat.
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How does a train sneeze?

Ah-choo-choo!
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What do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question?

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Why did the elephant leave the circus?

He was tired of working for peanuts.
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Why do cows go to New York?

To see the moosicals
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How many assholes does it take to change a light bulb?

None; assholes never see the light anyway.
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