Why did the scarecrow win an award?

Because he was outstanding in his field.
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What pine has the longest needles?

A porcupine.
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Why does hamburger yield lower energy than steak?

Because it's in the ground state.
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Why do hummingbirds hum?

Because they don't know the words.
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"I went to the zoo the other day, there was only one dog in it,

it was a shitzu."
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What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

Roberto.
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Why did the football coach go to the bank?

To get his quarterback.
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Where are cars most likely to get flat tires?

At forks in the road.
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