Why did the scientist take out his doorbell?

He wanted to win the no-bell prize!
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What is a parents favorite Christmas carol?

Silent night!
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Why did the sea monster eat five ships that were carrying potatoes?

No one can eat just one potato ship.
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What is the chemical formula for "coffee"?

CoFe2
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Want to hear a joke about construction?

I'm still working on it.
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What is a vampire's favorite fruit?

A nectarine!
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Why did the tree get a computer?

To log on.
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How many bass players does it take to change a light bulb?

One. But the guitarist has to show him first.

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What starts with E, ends with E and only has one letter?

An envelope.
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So I met this gangster who pulls up the back of people's pants,

it was Wedgie Kray.

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