Why did the scientist take out his doorbell?

He wanted to win the no-bell prize!
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Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

Because he was caught tweeting on a test.
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What is always hot in the refrigerator?

Chili
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How many Zen masters does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A tree in a golden forest.
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What did the snowman say to the customer?

Have an ice day!
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I know loads of jokes about cash machines,

I just can't think of one atm.
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What does the toast wear to bed?

Jammies!
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What does Melania see in Donald Trump?

"Ten billion dollars and high cholesterol!"
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What is a spaceman's favorite chocolate?

A marsbar!
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What did the peanut say to the elephant?

Nothing, peanuts don't talk.
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