Why did the sea monster eat five ships that were carrying potatoes?

No one can eat just one potato ship.
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How many skunks does it take to make a big stink?

A phew.
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Why are pirates great singers?

They can hit the high C's!

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How many record producers does it take to change a lightbulb?

Two… one to tell the engineer to do it, the other to say "I don't know, what do you think?"

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Why did the Blonde stare at the Orange Juice carton?

Because it said CONCENTRATE.
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"I said to the Gym instructor "Can you teach me to do the splits?" He said, "How flexible are you?"

I said, "I can't make Tuesdays"

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What washes up on small beaches?

Microwaves.
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Where does Friday come before Monday?

In the dictionary.
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