Why did the sea monster eat five ships that were carrying potatoes?

No one can eat just one potato ship.
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What did the little boy's mom say when he asked her to buy him shoes for gym?

"Tell Jim to buy his own shoes".
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What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

Roberto.
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What did one cow say to the other?

Mooooooove over
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How many U.S. Marines does it take to change a light bulb?

Fifty — one to screw in the bulb and 49 to guard him/her.
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What do you give a lemon in distress?

Lemonade.
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How many Union Lighting Technicians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

It's not a bulb, it's a globe.
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What is Donald Trump "really" trying to do?

Make America Hate Again.
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