Why did the sea monster eat five ships that were carrying potatoes?

No one can eat just one potato ship.
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Two girls were born on the same day, same year, same parents, except they are not twins. Explain:

They are triplets.
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How do you catch a squirrel?

Climb up a tree and act like a nut
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When the attendant asked the photon if it had any bags to check

It said Nah, I'm traveling light.
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How many drummers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They have machines to do that now.
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Why did the Christmas tree go to the barber?

It needed to be trimmed.
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What kind of dog has a bark but no bite?

A Dogwood
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What do you call a cow that twitches?

Beef jerky
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