Why did the singer climb a ladder?

She wanted to reach the high notes!

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They're always telling me to live my dreams.

But I don't want to be naked in an exam I haven't revised for.
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Two satellites decided to get married.

The wedding wasn't much, but the reception was incredible!
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Why are Muslims worried about Trumps immigration plans?

Once you deport Juan you deport Jamal.
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How many conservatives does it take to change a light bulb?

One; after reflecting in the twilight on the merit of the previous bulb.
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Why are giraffes so slow to apologize?

It takes them a long time to swallow their pride.
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How many mystery writers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two — one to screw it most of the way in and the other to give it a surprise twist at the end.
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Why was the piano player arrested?

Because he got into treble with the cops

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What did polly the parrot want for the 4th of July?

A fire cracker
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