Why did the singer climb a ladder?

She wanted to reach the high notes!

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How did the chemist survive the famine?

By subsisting on titrations.
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What did the clock do after it ate?

It went back four seconds!
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What do you call a deer with no eyes?

No I deer
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a liar?

The pronunciation.
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How did the telephone propose to his girlfriend?

He gave her a ring.
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Kim Kardashian is saddled with a huge arse.

but enough about Kanye West.
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What did one wall say to the other?

I'll meet you at the corner.
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What do clarinetists use for birth control?

Their personalities.

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