Why did the skeleton cross the road?

To get to the body shop.
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What is black and white and red all over?

A skunk with a rash.
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Why did the carpenter fall asleep on the job?

He was board.
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What do you give a pig with a rash?

Oinkment.
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What did the peanut say to the elephant?

Nothing, peanuts don't talk.
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If you see a lawyer on a bicycle, why don't you swerve to hit him?

It might be your bicycle.
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This graveyard looks overcrowded.

People must be dying to get in there.
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What has a head but no body?

A nail.
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