Why did the spy stay in bed?

Because he was under cover.
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How do you fix a broken Tuba.

With a tuba glue.
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What do cats and dogs call Santa Clause?

Santa paws!!!
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A neutron walks into a bar. He asks the bartender, "How much for a beer?"

The bartender offers him a warm smile and says, "For you, no charge".
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What do you call a cow that twitches?

Beef jerky
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Went to the paper shop -

it had blown away.
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How many light bulbs does it take to change a light bulb?

One, if it knows its own Goedel number.
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How many skunks does it take to make a big stink?

A phew.
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What do have when a lawyer is buried up to his neck in sand?

Not enough sand.
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Anyone know any jokes about sodium?

Na
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