Why did the spy stay in bed?

Because he was under cover.
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Why did God make snakes just before lawyers?

To practice.
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What cheese do you use to coax a bear out of the woods with?

Camembert.
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What do you get when you cross a stream and a brook?

Wet feet.
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What time is it when an elephant sits on your bed?

Time to get a new bed
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A duck, a skunk and a deer went out for dinner at a restaurant one night.

When it came time to pay, the skunk didn't have a scent, the deer didn't have a buck so they put the meal on the duck's bill.
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Why do fish live in salt water?

Because pepper makes them sneeze
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What is a pirate's favorite's fish?

A swordfish
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What do you call a dinosaur in a car accident?

A tyrannosauraus wreck
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Why would an elephant paint its toenails different colors?

To hide in a bag of M&M's.
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