Why did the spy stay in bed?

Because he was under cover.
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Where do mice park their boats?

At the hickory dickory dock.
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Why didn't the skeleton want to go to school?

His heart wasn't in it.
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How many 2nd AD's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Uh...standby, I'll check on that.
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How many bass clarinetists does it take to change a light bulb?

All of them
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What do you call a dog with a Rolex?

A watch dog.
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What does GOP stand for?

Grabs Our Pussy.
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What is on the ground and also a hundred feet in the air?

A centipede on its back!
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Why was the cat afraid of a tree?

Because of the bark
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How many thought police does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. There never was any light bulb.

Notes: Probably the only really good light bulb joke of 1984.
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