Why did the spy stay in bed?

Because he was under cover.
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How many big black monoliths does it take to change a light bulb?

Sorry, light bulbs are an evolutionary dead end.
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What do Santa's elves learn in school?

The Elfabet.
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Why do cows go to New York?

To see the moosicals
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Why did the thief take a shower?

He wanted to make a clean getaway!
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What kind of music do planets sing?

Neptunes!
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How does a dog stop a video?

He presses the paws button.
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What do you call lending money to a bison?

A buff-a-loan
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What do have when a lawyer is buried up to his neck in sand?

Not enough sand.
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How many alumnae of (sorority name) does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to change it and one to act as chaperone.
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