Why did the spy stay in bed?

Because he was under cover.
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What's round and bad-tempered?

A vicious circle.
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What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?

One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter.
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What do moms dress up as on Halloween?

Mummies!
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What is only a small box but can weigh over a hundred pounds?

A scale.
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How many Psychiatrists does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one, but the bulb has got to really WANT to change.
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What's black and white and red all over?

A sunburnt zebra.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a gigolo?

A gigolo only screws one person at a time.
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What is the difference between a guitarist and a Savings Bond?

Eventually a Savings Bond will mature and earn money!

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What is as big as an elephant but weighs nothing?

Its shadow
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