Why did the spy stay in bed?

Because he was under cover.
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Where are cars most likely to get flat tires?

At forks in the road.
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Why do cows go to New York?

To see the moosicals
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Why couldn't the bicycle stand up by itself?

It was two tired.
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Why did the doughnut shop close?

The owner got tired of the (w)hole business!
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What did the Cinderella fish wear to the ball?

Glass flippers.
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What's the difference between an accountant and a lawyer?

Accountants know they're boring.
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Did you know that you can cool yourself to -273.15 Degrees C

and still be 0k?
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What did the scientist say when he found 2 isotopes of helium?

HeHe
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Why did the calendar write its will?

Its days were numbered.
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