Why did the spy stay in bed?

Because he was under cover.
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What`s black & white & red all over?

An embarrased mime!
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How many drummers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They have machines to do that now.
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What is King Arthur's favorite fish?

A swordfish
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What's the name of the archeologist that works at Scotland Yard?

Sherlock Bones.
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What did polly the parrot want for the 4th of July?

A fire cracker
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What is the difference between a clarinet and an onion?

Nobody cries when you chop an clarinet into little pieces

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How many sheep do you need to make a sweater?

I don't know. I didn't think sheep could knit
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A woman has twins, and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named 'Amal.' The other goes to a family in Spain, they name him Juan'. Years later; Juan sends a picture of himself to his mum. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wished she also had a picture of Amal.

Her husband responds, "But they are twins. If you've seen Juan, you've seen Amal."

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Where do orcas hear music?

Orca-stras
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