Why did the spy stay in bed?

Because he was under cover.
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What is the difference between a fly and superman?

Superman can fly, but a fly cannot superman!
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Knock, knock!
Who's there?
Snow.
Snow who?

Snowbody!
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A mexican magician tells the audience he will disappear on the count of 3. He says, "Uno, dos..." and then

*poof* … he disappeared without a tres!
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Why did the student eat her homework?

Because the teacher said it was a piece of cake!
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How many Marxists does it take to change a light bulb?

None. The light bulb contains the seeds of its own revolution.
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How many Director's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Just one more, guys, I promise.
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When is it bad luck to be followed by a black cat?

When you're a mouse.
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What time is it when 5 dogs chase 1 cat?

Five after one.
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What do Santa's elves drink?

Minnesoda.
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