Why did the spy stay in bed?

Because he was under cover.
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What did the carrot say to the rabbit?

Do you want to grab a bite?
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What has holes all over and holds water?

A sponge!
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Two aerials meet on a roof - fall in love - get married.

The ceremony was rubbish - but the reception was brilliant.

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Why did the boy put candy under his pillow?

Because he wanted sweet dreams.
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What did the necktie say to the hat?

You go on ahead. I'll hang around for a while.
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How do you cut a wave in half?

Use a sea saw.
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What happened when the butcher backed up into his meat grinder?

he got a little behind in his work.
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How many IBM PC owners does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one, but she/he'll have to go out and buy the light bulb adaptor card first, which is extra.
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What is worse then having one baby screaming?

Two babies screaming!
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