Why did the spy stay in bed?

Because he was under cover.
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What kind of cars do cats drive?

Catillacs
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What did the little girl say when she had to choose between a tricycle and a candy bar?

"Trike or Treat"?
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Do you know how many musicians it takes to change a light bulb?

No, but hum a few bars and I'll fake it.
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So I went to the Chinese restaurant and this duck came up to me with a red rose and says "Your eyes sparkle like diamonds".

I said, "Waiter, I asked for a-ROMATIC duck".
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A proton and a neutron are walking down the street.
The proton says, "Wait, I dropped an electron help me look for it."

The neutron says "Are you sure?" The proton replies "I'm positive."
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How many Executive Producers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Executive Producers don't screw in a light bulb, they screw in a hot tub.
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What is a tree's favorite drink?

Root beer.
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What do you call a dinosaur at the rodeo?

A Broncosaurus or a Tyrannosaurus Tex.
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What do an accordion and a lawsuit have in common?

Everyone is relieved when the case is closed.

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