Why did the spy stay in bed?

Because he was under cover.
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A jump-lead walks into a bar.

The barman says "I'll serve you, but don't start anything"
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What did the peanut say to the elephant?

Nothing, peanuts don't talk.
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What would you call a humorous knee?

Fun-ny!
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Two chemists go into a restaurant.
The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O."

The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" -- and he died.
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What is the definition of a shame (as in "that's a shame")?

When a busload of lawyers goes off a cliff.
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There's a fine line between a numerator and denominator.

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Doc, I can't stop singing the 'Green Green Grass of Home'. He said: 'That sounds like Tom Jones syndrome'. 'Is it common?'I asked.

'It's not unusual' he replied.

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PMS jokes are not funny...

[Period]
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How many freelance biotechnologists does it take to change a light bulb?

One; she designs the bulb to crawl up the wall, unscrew the old one, and screw itself in.
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