Why did the spy stay in bed?

Because he was under cover.
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What do you call a sad bird?

A bluebird!
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What is very funny and makes dogs itch?

The Flea Stooges!
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What happened when the butcher backed up into his meat grinder?

he got a little behind in his work.
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What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?

Frostbite.
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Why does hamburger yield lower energy than steak?

Because it's in the ground state.
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Trump: "Foreign Policy?,

if you mess with the United States, there will be hell toupee."

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How many archaeologists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One team, but they'll label every piece of the old one, mark its location in the room, and write a detailed description before determining that it was used to store cornmeal.
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What is the difference between a car and a bull?

A car only has one horn.
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What element is derived from a Norse god?

Thorium.
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