Why did the spy stay in bed?

Because he was under cover.
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Why did Mickey Mouse go to outer space?

He was looking for Pluto.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a trampoline?

You take off your shoes before you jump on a trampoline.
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I said to this train driver "I want to go to Paris". He said "Eurostar?"

I said, "I've been on telly but I'm no Dean Martin".
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What do you get when you drop a piano into a mine shaft?

A Flat Miner

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Why did the cow cross the road?

Because the chicken was on vacation.
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There are 10 kinds of people in the world.

Those who read binary and those who don't.
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How many running-dog lackeys of the bourgeoisie does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to exploit the proletariat, and one to control the means of production!
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How can you tell is a singer is at your door?

They can't find the key, and they never know when to come in.
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Why does cheese look sane?

Because everything else on the plate is crackers.
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