Why did the spy stay in bed?

Because he was under cover.
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If H20 is water, what is H204?

Drinking, bathing, washing, swimming, etc.
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What breakfast cereal does Frosty the Snowman eat?

Snowflakes.
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What's the difference between a good lawyer and a bad lawyer?

A bad lawyer makes your case drag on for years. A good lawyer makes it last even longer.
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How many fatalists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

What does it matter? we're all gonna die anyway.
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What does Donald Trump say when he can't find his Viagra?

"The erection is rigged!"
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Why was the woman fired from the car assembly line?

She was caught taking a brake.
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A Freudian slip is when you mean to say one thing

but you accidentally say Mother.
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What do birds say on Halloween?

Twick o tweet
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What do you call a fat pumpkin?

A plumpkin.
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