Why did the spy stay in bed?

Because he was under cover.
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If the red house is on the left,the blue house is on the right,where is the White House?

In Washington, D.C.
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A young blonde woman is distraught because she fears her husband is having an affair, so she goes to a gun shop and buys a handgun. The next day she comes home to find her husband in bed with a beautiful redhead. She grabs the gun and holds it to her own head. The husband jumps out of bed, begging and pleading with her not to shoot herself.

The blonde responds to the husband, "Shut up...you're next!"
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What is the difference between a pregnant woman and a light bulb?

You can unscrew a light bulb.
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I tried water polo but my horse drowned.
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What is Donald Trumps campaign slogan?

"A complex world demands complex hair."
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How many 2nd AD's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Uh...standby, I'll check on that.
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What is very funny and makes dogs itch?

The Flea Stooges!
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There were two cows in a paddock. One of the cows says, "moo"

and the other one says, "That's what I was going to say."
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Why do ghosts make good cheerleaders?

Because they have a lot of spirit.
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