Why did the spy stay in bed?

Because he was under cover.
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Why did the cow go in the spaceship?

It wanted to see the mooooooon!
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What is the strongest animal?

A snail because it carries it's home.
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What do you call a bruise on a T-Rex?

A dino-sore
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They stopped a vulture from bringing his rotting carcasses on the plane

but he said "You said I could have two carry on items!"
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When do you go on red and stop on green?

When you are eating a watermelon.
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I know loads of jokes about cash machines,

I just can't think of one atm.
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Why don't bears wear shoes?

What's the use, they'd still have bear feet
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What did the carrot say to the rabbit?

Do you want to grab a bite?
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How many database people does it take to change a light bulb?

Three: one to write the light bulb removal program, one to write the light bulb insertion program, and one to act as a light bulb administrator to make sure nobody else tries to change the light bulb at the same time.
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