Why did the spy stay in bed?

Because he was under cover.
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Why doesn't Donald Trump sweat like Marco Rubio?

Because he has such yuuuuge fans!
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What cheese do you use to coax a bear out of the woods with?

Camembert.
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How do you catch a unique bird?

Unique up on it.
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Why can't hippos ride bicycles?

Bike helmets don't fit hippos
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A man goes to a zoo and discovers there is only one animal and it's a dog.

It was a Shih Tzu
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How many French Horn players does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, but he/she will spend hours checking for technical problems.
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What do birds say on Halloween?

Twick o tweet
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Where does a ten ton elephant sit?

Anywhere it wants to
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What do you call a Disney Princess that supports Donald Trump?

Snow White Supremacist.
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