Why did the spy stay in bed?

Because he was under cover.
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How many alumnae of (sorority name) does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to change it and one to act as chaperone.
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How many Sound Recordists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

WHAT?
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Why should you never tell a secret in a corn field?

Because there are too many ears.
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What do you call a pig who knows karate?

Porkchop
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How many lawyers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Three, One to climb the ladder. One to shake it. And one to sue the ladder company.
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It’s Hans free.
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What do you get when you cross a stream and a brook?

Wet feet.
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How many apples grow on a tree?

All of them.
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I tried nutella on some salmon

got salmonella.
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