Why did the spy stay in bed?

Because he was under cover.
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What do ghosts eat for supper?

Spooketi
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What are lawyers good for?

They make used car salesmen look good.
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What do you call a lawyer with an IQ of 100?
Your Honor.
What do you call a lawyer with an IQ of 50

Senator.
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Red sky at night: shepherd’s delight.

Blue sky at night: day.
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Why can't hippos ride bicycles?

Bike helmets don't fit hippos
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What do you call a dinosaur that wears a cowboy hat and boots?

Tyrannosaurus Tex.
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Did you hear about Michael Jackson's latest record?

"Feel the World."
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What do you call a gorilla wearing earmuffs?

Anything you like, he can't hear you.
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What element is derived from a Norse god?

Thorium.
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