Why did the spy stay in bed?

Because he was under cover.
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Why can't you compare Donald Trump to cancer?

Because sometimes you can get rid of cancer.
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My phone will ring at 2 in the morning, and my wife'll look at me and go, "Who's that calling at this time?' "I don't know!

If I knew that we wouldn't need the bloody phone!"

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How many IBM PC owners does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one, but she/he'll have to go out and buy the light bulb adaptor card first, which is extra.
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If a long dress is evening wear, what is a suit of armor?

Silverware.
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There were 10 cats in a boat and one jumped out. How many were left?

None, because they were copycats
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What airline does Donald Trump aspire to fly?

Hair Force One!
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What do whales eat?

Fish and ships.
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PMS jokes are not funny...

[Period]
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If H2O is the formula for water, what is the formula for ice?

H2O cubed.
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