Why did the spy stay in bed?

Because he was under cover.
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What do birds say on Halloween?

Twick o tweet
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What did one volcano say to the other?

I lava you.
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What's the difference between a jellyfish and a lawyer?

One's a spineless, poisonous blob. The other is a form of sea life.
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How can you get four suits for a dollar?


Buy a deck of cards.
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How do you prevent a Summer cold?

Catch it in the Winter!
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Does it take longer to run from 1st base to 2nd, or from 2nd to 3rd?

From 2nd to 3rd because there's a shortstop in the middle.
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Why did the cucumber call 911?

It was in a pickle!
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What do you get when you cross a Cocker Spaniel,
a Poodle and a ghost?

A cocker poodle boo.
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My phone will ring at 2 in the morning, and my wife'll look at me and go, "Who's that calling at this time?' "I don't know!

If I knew that we wouldn't need the bloody phone!"

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