Why did the spy stay in bed?

Because he was under cover.
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Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?

It's fine, he woke up.
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How many economists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to assume the ladder and one to change the bulb.

A': None. If the government would just leave it alone, it would screw itself in.
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I would avoid the sushi if I was you.

It’s a little fishy.
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Why did the cookie go to the Doctor?

Because he was feeling crumby.
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What's the difference between a jellyfish and a lawyer?

One's a spineless, poisonous blob. The other is a form of sea life.
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Why does a stork stand on one leg?

Because it would fall over if it lifted the other one.
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What did Tennessee?
The same thing Arkansas.
What did Delaware?

Her New Jersey.
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Why shouldn't Donald Trump rag on illegal immigrants?

Because an undocumented worker has been living on his head for the past 2 decades!
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How do you get a dog to stop digging in the garden?

Take away his shovel
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