Why did the spy stay in bed?

Because he was under cover.
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Why did the chicken cross the clothing store?

To get to the other size!

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What is the easiest way to count a herd of cattle?

With a cowculator.

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What do you call 5000 dead lawyers at the bottom of the ocean?

A good start!
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Do you know how many musicians it takes to change a light bulb?

No, but hum a few bars and I'll fake it.

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What time is it when 5 dogs chase 1 cat?

Five after one.

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What kind of eggs does a wicked chicken lay?

Deviled eggs.

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Where do sheep get their hair cut?

At the baa-baa shop.

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How many believable, competent, ``just-right-for-the-job'' presidential candidates does it take to change a light bulb?

It's going to be a dark 4 years, isn't it?
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What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a red car?
A red carnation.
What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a pink car?
A pink car-nation.
What would the country be called if everyone in it lived in their cars?

An in-car-nation.

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