Why did the spy stay in bed?

Because he was under cover.
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What do you get if you cross an elephant and a kangaroo?

Big holes all over Australia!
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Where do cows go on Saturday night?

To the mooooooovies.
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What's the difference between a fish and a piano?

You can't tuna fish.
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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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How does the ocean say hello?

It waves.
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Why don't aliens eat clowns?

Because they taste funny!
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Why did the baseball player bring a rope to the game?

Because he wanted to tie the score!
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How many French Horn players does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, but he/she will spend hours checking for technical problems.
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What nails do carpenters hate to hit?

Fingernails.
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