Why did the spy stay in bed?

Because he was under cover.
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What kind of balls do dragons play soccer with?

Fireballs.
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Where do sheep get their hair cut?

At the baa-baa shop.
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Why can't a bicycle stand up?

Because it's two tired!
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How many Iraqis does it take to screw in a light bulb?

It doesn't matter, they don't have any electricity any more.
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Why did the chicken cross the clothing store?

To get to the other size!
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Why did Mozart sell his chickens?

Because they kept saying "bach bach"!
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My phone will ring at 2 in the morning, and my wife'll look at me and go, "Who's that calling at this time?' "I don't know!

If I knew that we wouldn't need the bloody phone!"

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Why was the baseball game so hot?

Because all the fans left!
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What did the Cinderella fish wear to the ball?

Glass flippers.
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