Why did the spy stay in bed?

Because he was under cover.
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I rang up British Telecom, I said, "I want to report a nuisance caller",

he said "Not you again".

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What do you call a gorilla wearing earmuffs?

Anything you like, he can't hear you.
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What do you call a pig who knows karate?

Porkchop
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A Freudian slip is when you mean to say one thing

but you accidentally say Mother.
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What's the best parting gift?

A comb.
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Two chemists go into a restaurant.
The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O."

The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" -- and he died.
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What is a tree's favorite drink?

Root beer.
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Clowns divorce:

custardy battle.
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What has a lot of keys but can not open any doors?

A piano.
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