Why did the spy stay in bed?

Because he was under cover.
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Why did the cat go to Minnesota?

To get a mini soda
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Why didn't the skeleton cross the road?

He didn't have any guts!
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What did Tennessee?

The same thing Arkansas.
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Why are ghosts so bad at lying?

Because you can see right through them!
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How many data base people does it take to change a light bulb?

Three:

One to write the light bulb removal program,
one to write the light bulb insertion program, and

one to act as a light bulb administrator to make sure nobody else tries to change the light bulb at the same time.
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How many supporters of George W. Bush does it take to change a light bulb?

None. First, denounce the nearest Democrats as liberal pantywaists who deliberately caused the bulb to blow. Second, announce that the Bush administration has proved that the science of electricity is faulty, so no action ever needs to be taken on global light change. Third, keep the need for a new light bulb strictly secret. Fourth, use the money for new light bulbs as an excuse for another tax cut for Bush's wealthy friends. Fifth, explain that you would never "disassemble" about the need for light, you are way too busy spreading freedom and democracy in the Middle East by eliminating freedom and democracy in the United States.
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I thought about going on an all-almond diet.

But that's just nuts
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I just watched a program about beavers.

It was the best dam program I've ever seen.
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What is the snake's favorite subject?

Hiss-story
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