Why did the spy stay in bed?

Because he was under cover.
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What do you call a cold dog sitting on a bunny?

A chili dog on a bun.
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How does a dog stop a video?

He presses the paws button.
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What do you do if your cat swallows your pencil?

Use a pen.
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What kind of dog has a bark but no bite?

A Dogwood
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What do you call a cow in a tornado?

A milkshake
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What do you call a lawyer with an IQ of 100?
Your Honor.
What do you call a lawyer with an IQ of 50

Senator.
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Why did the Christmas tree go to the barber?

It needed to be trimmed.
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How many folk musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Seven. One to change it and the other six to sing about how good the old one was.
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How many DP's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. No, two. No... How many do we have on the truck?
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