Why did the spy stay in bed?

Because he was under cover.
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How many efficiency experts does it take to replace a light bulb?

None. Efficiency experts replace only dark bulbs.
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What day of the week tastes the best?

Sunday!
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How is a dog like a telephone?

It has a collar I.D.
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What do you get when you cross a duck with a vampire?

Count Quackula!
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What did the banana do when the monkey chased it?

The banana split
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How many anarchists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

All of them.
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Why did the dinosaur cross the road?

The chicken wasn't around yet.
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So I went to the Chinese restaurant and this duck came up to me with a red rose and says "Your eyes sparkle like diamonds".

I said, "Waiter, I asked for a-ROMATIC duck".
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What did one egg say to the other egg?

Let's get crackin!
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