Why did the spy stay in bed?

Because he was under cover.
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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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Why did the cow go in the spaceship?

It wanted to see the mooooooon!
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Where do horses live?

In the neigh-borhood.
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How many DP's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. No, two. No... How many do we have on the truck?
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Why can't a bicycle stand up?

Because it's two tired!
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What do you call a deer with no eyes?

No I deer
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How Many lead guitarist does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They just steal somebody else's light.
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What kind of cats like to go bowling?

Alley cats.
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What two things can you not have for breakfast?

Lunch and dinner.
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