Why did the spy stay in bed?

Because he was under cover.
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What do vampires take when they are sick?

Coffin drops!
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Why was the boy sitting on his watch?

Because he wanted to be on time.
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What is green and pecks on trees?

Woody the Wood Pickle.
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What do you get when you cross poison ivy with a 4-leaf clover?

A rash of good luck.
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What kind of potato chips fly?

Plane ones.
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What's round and bad-tempered?

A vicious circle.
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How many conservatives does it take to change a light bulb?

One; after reflecting in the twilight on the merit of the previous bulb.
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How does a bird with a broken wing manage to land safely?

With its sparrowchute.
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Why was Cinderella thrown off the basketball team?

She ran away from the ball.
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