Why did the spy stay in bed?

Because he was under cover.
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Why did the cow cross the road?

Because the chicken was on vacation.
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Why did the sea monster eat five ships that were carrying potatoes?

No one can eat just one potato ship.
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What's the first thing a musician says at work?

"Would you like fries with that?"

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I have a friend who is a Limo driver . But he has had no clients for two years.

So he has nothing to chauffeur it !
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Why can't you say a joke while standing on ice?

Because it might crack up!
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What's the difference between a dead skunk in the road and a dead lawyer in the road?

There are skid marks in front of the skunk.
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What did the octopus say to his girlfriend when he proposed?

Can I have your hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand in marriage?
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What did one eye say to the other?

Between you and me, something smells.
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Which runs faster, hot or cold water?

Hot, because you can catch cold.
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