Why did the spy stay in bed?

Because he was under cover.
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How can a pregnant woman tell that she's carrying a future lawyer?

She has an uncontrollable craving for bologna.
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Went to the paper shop -

it had blown away.
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What is Claustrophobia?

The fear of Santa Claus.
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What kind of dog has a bark but no bite?

A Dogwood
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How is a dog like a telephone?

It has a collar I.D.
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Why doesn't Melania Trump want to be the first lady?

Because she would have to move into a smaller house.
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How many Carl Sagans does it take to change a light bulb?

Billllyuns and billllyuns. Light bulbs are part of the interstellar "goo" that pervades our universe; they are star stuff.
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What is the chemical formula for "coffee"?

CoFe2
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What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

Roberto.
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