Why did the spy stay in bed?

Because he was under cover.
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How many Holocaust revisionists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None: they just deny that the bulb ever went out in the first place.
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What do you get from a bad-tempered shark?

As far away as possible.
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What did Cinderella say to the photographer?

Some day my prints will come.
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How Many lead guitarist does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They just steal somebody else's light.
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Knock, knock
Who's there?
Merry.
Merry who?

Merry Christmas!
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What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon
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What's a puppy's favorite kind of pizza?

Pupperoni.
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What did the peanut say to the elephant?

Nothing, peanuts don't talk.
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Why did the carpenter fall asleep on the job?

He was board.
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