Why did the spy stay in bed?

Because he was under cover.
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What do moms dress up as on Halloween?

Mummies!
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How many PA' does it take to screw in a light bulb?

What's a light bulb?
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Why don't aliens celebrate Chistmas?

Because they don't want to give away their presence.
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How many Ukrainians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None, because people who glow in the dark don't need light bulbs.

Note: Topical to the Chernobyl Reactor disaster of 1984.
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How many Marxists does it take to change a light bulb?

None. The light bulb contains the seeds of its own revolution.
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A Freudian slip is when you mean to say one thing

but you accidentally say Mother.
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What do you call a dog with a Rolex?

A watch dog.
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What's black and white, black and white, black and white and green?

Three skunks fighting over a pickle

First dog: My master calls me Furball. How about you?
Second Dog: My master calls me Sitboy
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If the Silver Surfer and Iron Man team up, they'd be alloys.
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