Why did the spy stay in bed?

Because he was under cover.
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How do you get a lawyer out of a tree?

Cut the rope.
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What's brown and looks really good on a lawyer?

A Doberman.
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How many database people does it take to change a light bulb?

Three: one to write the light bulb removal program, one to write the light bulb insertion program, and one to act as a light bulb administrator to make sure nobody else tries to change the light bulb at the same time.
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A pair of eyebrows walked into a shop. The assistant asked, "Can I help you?"

The eyebrows replied, "no, we are just browsing"
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How do you keep a skunk from smelling?

Plug its nose.
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Knock, knock
Who's there?
Merry.
Merry who?

Merry Christmas!
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How many mystery writers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two — one to screw it most of the way in and the other to give it a surprise twist at the end.
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Did you know that oxygen went for a second date with potassium?
How did it go?

It went OK2!
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What is a parents favorite Christmas carol?

Silent night!
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