Why did the strawberry call 911?

It was in a jam!
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What nails do carpenters hate to hit?

Fingernails.
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How many [ethnics] does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Ten. One to hold the bulb and nine to rotate the ladder.
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I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.

I’m just doing it for kicks.
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How many Federal employees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Sorry, that item has been cut from the budget!
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What's an alligator's favorite drink?

Gator-Ade.
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What kind of jam can you not eat?

A traffic jam.
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What clothes does a house wear?

Address.
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How many Feminists does it take to change a light bulb?

That's not funny!!!
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If H2O is the formula for water, what is the formula for ice?

H2O cubed.
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