Why did the student eat her homework?

Because the teacher said it was a piece of cake!
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Where do cars go for a swim?

At the carpool!
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What did one magnet say to the other?

I find you very attractive.
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What do you call a cow that eats your grass?

A lawn moo-er.
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How many bass clarinetists does it take to change a light bulb?

All of them
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Why did the scientist take out his doorbell?

He wanted to win the no-bell prize!
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How do dinosaurs pay their bills?

With Tyrannosaurus checks.
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I bought some shoes off of a drug dealer. I don't know what he laced them with

but I've been trippin' all day.
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How many tenors does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to change the bulb and three to whine "It's too high"
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How many Development Executives does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to take notes while the other screws it into the faucet.
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