Why did the student eat her homework?

Because the teacher said it was a piece of cake!
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El Chapo has offered $100 million dollars for Trumps body, dead or alive.

I guess that finally answers the question about how much Donald Trump is actually worth.
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What kind of ties can't you wear?

Railroad ties.
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Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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How do you make a goldfish old?

Take away the g
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What's a dog's favorite food for breakfast?

Pooched eggs.
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Why was the woman fired from the car assembly line?

She was caught taking a brake.
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So I went to the Chinese restaurant and this duck came up to me with a red rose and says "Your eyes sparkle like diamonds".

I said, "Waiter, I asked for a-ROMATIC duck".
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What do you call a Disney Princess that supports Donald Trump?

Snow White Supremacist.
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What's a puppy's favorite kind of pizza?

Pupperoni.
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