Why did the student eat her homework?

Because the teacher said it was a piece of cake!
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My pastor, he ate too many beans.

He had in his own pews.
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What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car?

Carlos.
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What type of cars do elves drive?

Toy-otas.
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How does a penguin build it's house?

Igloos it together.
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What did the scientist say when he found 2 isotopes of helium?

HeHe
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Where does an elephant pack his luggage?

In his trunk
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Why is Donald Trump always seen with Melania?

Because all his other wives support Hillary.
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How many Carl Sagans does it take to change a light bulb?

Billllyuns and billllyuns. Light bulbs are part of the interstellar "goo" that pervades our universe; they are star stuff.
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What did one hair say to the other?

It takes two to tangle!
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