Why did the sun go to school?

To get brighter!
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What did the little boy's mom say when he asked her to buy him shoes for gym?

"Tell Jim to buy his own shoes".
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How do you know the economy is only getting worse?

On the latest episode of "Celebrity Apprentice", Donald Trump fired himself!
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What's the name of the archeologist that works at Scotland Yard?

Sherlock Bones.
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Did you hear oxygen went on a date with potassium?

It went OK.
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How can a pregnant woman tell that she's carrying a future lawyer?

She has an uncontrollable craving for bologna.
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What did one volcano say to the other?

I lava you.
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What is worse then having one baby screaming?

Two babies screaming!
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How many UNIX hacks does it take to change a light bulb?

As many as you want; they're all virtual anyway.
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