Why did the surfer think the sea was his friend?

Because it gave him a big wave!
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What do you call a cold dog sitting on a bunny?

A chili dog on a bun.
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What's a light-year?

The same as a regular year, but with less calories.
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Which 2 food groups make up Donald Trumps diet?

Meat and Democrats!
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How is Donald Trump going to create middle class jobs?

By paying them to cheer for him during campaign events.
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A neutron walks into a bar. He asks the bartender, "How much for a beer?"

The bartender offers him a warm smile and says, "For you, no charge".
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Why did the lamb cross the road?

To get to the baaaaarber shop
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What is the snake's favorite subject?

Hiss-story
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I just watched a program about beavers.

It was the best dam program I've ever seen.
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Why should you never tell a secret in a corn field?

Because there are too many ears.
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