Why did the surfer think the sea was his friend?

Because it gave him a big wave!
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If the red house is on the left,the blue house is on the right,where is the White House?

In Washington, D.C.
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I wouldn't buy anything with velcro.

It's a total rip-off.
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Why does everybody like Frosty the Snowman?

Because he is so cool!
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What do you give a sick bird?

Tweetment.
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Why did the cucumber call 911?

It was in a pickle!
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What do you call a public servant who doesn't take crap from Republicans or Democrats?

Donald Trump.
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What is black when clean, and white when dirty?

A blackboard.
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The defendant is accused of putting dynamite into a steer.

Abominable! [A Bomb In a Bull]
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What bird can lift the most?

A crane.
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