Why did the thief take a shower?

He wanted to make a clean getaway!
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Why did the banana go to the hospital?

Because he wasn't peeling well!
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What do you call a dinosaur that smashes everything in its path?

Tyrannosaurus wrecks.
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Why did the student eat her homework?

Because the teacher said it was a piece of cake!
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Which reindeer likes to clean?

Comet
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What kind of dress can't be worn?

Address.
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When does New Year's Day come before Christmas Day?

Every year!
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How do you stop a dog barking in the back seat of a car?

Put him in the front seat.
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How many cops does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. It turned itself in.
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What do you call a beautiful woman on a trombonist's arm?

A tattoo.

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