Why did the tomato blush?

Because he saw the salad dressing!
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Why do pandas like old movies?

Because they are black and white.
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What do you get when you drop a piano on an army base?

A Flat Major

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Why did the student eat her homework?

Because the teacher said it was a piece of cake!
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What do Michael Jackson and x-boxs have in common?

They're both plastic and little boys turn them on.
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How is a dog like a telephone?

It has a collar I.D.
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How many polite New Yorkers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Both of them.
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Why did the boy take a ladder to school?

He wanted to go to high school!
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What can a goose do, a duck can't, and a lawyer should?

Stick his bill up his ass.
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What is only a small box but can weigh over a hundred pounds?

A scale.
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