Why did the tomato blush?

Because he saw the salad dressing!
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Why was the woman fired from the car assembly line?

She was caught taking a brake.
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Why did Mozart kill his chickens?

Because they always ran around going "Bach! Bach! Bach!"

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How does a dog stop a video?

He presses the paws button.
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Know how copper wire was invented?

Two lawyers were fighting over a penny.
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What has four wheels and flies?

A garbage truck.
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What do Russians use for napkins?

Soviets
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What do you call a rabbit with beetles all over it?

Bugs Bunny.
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How do you make a hot dog stand?

Steal its chair.
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When one physicist asks another, "What's new?" what's the typical response?

C over lambda.
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