Why did the tomato blush?

Because he saw the salad dressing!
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Where did the farmer take the pigs on Saturday afternoon?

He took them to a pignic.
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What does the toast wear to bed?

Jammies!
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How many times does Bill Clinton change a light bulb?

No one knows. Republicans automatically disbelieve him, and no one can ever trust a stinking liberal anyway.
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What did the picture say to the wall?

I've been framed!
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What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

Roberto.
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What is a boxer's favorite drink?

Punch.
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What do you call a mommy cow that just had a calf?

Decalfinated
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What's a light-year?

The same as a regular year, but with less calories.
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What is on the ground and also a hundred feet in the air?

A centipede on its back!
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