Why did the tree get a computer?

To log on.
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I tried water polo but my horse drowned.
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What do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question?

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What did the snowman say to the customer?

Have an ice day!
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What do you call a song sung in an automobile?

A cartoon.
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What did the Mass Spectrometer say to the Gas Chromatograph?

Breaking up is hard to do.
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What did one flower say to the other flower?

Hey, bud!
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What kind of dogs do chemists have?

Laboratory Retrievers
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How many UNIX hacks does it take to change a light bulb?

As many as you want; they're all virtual anyway.
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Why didn't the rooster cross the road?

Because it was chicken.
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