Why did the tree go to the dentist?

It needed a root canal.
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So the Pillsbury Doughboy's pants fell off and I..

feel really weird about donuts right now.
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How many Stuntmen does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Five. One to screw it in and four to tell him how bitchin' he looked doing it.
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How many Macintosh users does it take to change a light bulb?

None. You have to replace the whole motherboard.
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How do we know the Indians were the first people in North America?

They had reservations.
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What is the easiest way to count a herd of cattle?

With a cowculator.
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What's black and white, black and white, black and white and green?

Three skunks fighting over a pickle

First dog: My master calls me Furball. How about you?
Second Dog: My master calls me Sitboy
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Why did the skeleton cross the road?

To get to the body shop.
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What did the scientist say when he found 2 isotopes of helium?

HeHe
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What do you call someone who hangs around with musicians?

A drummer

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