Why did the tree go to the dentist?

It needed a root canal.
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Why was the baseball player arrested in the middle of the game?

He was caught stealing second base.
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What do cats and dogs call Santa Clause?

Santa paws!!!
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What do you get when you cross a blonde and a lawyer?

I don't know. There are some things even a blonde won't do.
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Why did the cow cross the road?

To get to the udder side.
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What has a head but no body?

A nail.
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What lies on its back, one hundred feet in the air?

A dead centipede.
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What did one cow say to the other?

Mooooooove over
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What is black ,white and red all over?

A sunburnt penguin
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Why did Bach have so many children?

He did not have a stop on his organ.

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