Why did the turtle cross the road?

To get to the shell station.
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How many lesbians does it take to change a light bulb?

Three: One to screw it in, and two to talk about how much better it is than with a man.
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How many Trumpet players does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one. But he'll leave a big puddle of spit on the floor underneath him.
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Why should we call the President, Donald "Duck" Trump?

Because you better duck when he's pissed.
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How do you get a dog to stop digging in the garden?

Take away his shovel
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If the red house is on the left,the blue house is on the right,where is the White House?

In Washington, D.C.
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How does a penguin build it's house?

Igloos it together.
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How many freelance biotechnologists does it take to change a light bulb?

One; she designs the bulb to crawl up the wall, unscrew the old one, and screw itself in.
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How does Donald Trump plan on deporting 12 million illegal immigrants?

Juan by Juan.
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