Why did the turtle cross the road?

To get to the shell station.
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What did the ceiling say to the chandelier?

You're the only bright spot in my life.
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How did Ben Franklin feel after discovering electricity?

Shocked.
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How do Eskimos make their beds?

With sheets of ice and blankets of snow.
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What do you get from a cow at the North Pole?

Ice cream.
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How many subscribers to AOL does it take to change a light bulb?

What? You can change light bulbs?
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Why do you bring fish to a party?

Because it goes good with chips.
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How many actors does it take to screw in a light bulb?

100: One to do it and ninety-nine to say "I could've done that."
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Where do fish keep their money?

In a river bank
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