Why did the turtle cross the road?

To get to the shell station.
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How does Donald Trump intend to spice up the Republican Convention?

By relocating it to a casino!
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How do you make a musician's car more aerodynamic?

Take the pizza delivery sign off the roof

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I met a Dutch girl with inflatable shoes last week, phoned her up to arrange a date

but unfortunately she'd popped her clogs.

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How do you prevent a Summer cold?

Catch it in the Winter!
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How many Bell Labs vice presidents does it take to change a light bulb?

That's proprietary information. The answer is available from AT&T on payment of license fee (binary only).
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What is very funny and makes dogs itch?

The Flea Stooges!
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Why did the doughnut shop close?

The owner got tired of the (w)hole business!
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Where would an astronaut park his space ship?

A parking meteor!
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