Why did the turtle cross the road?

To get to the shell station.
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Where do fish keep their money?

In a river bank
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I met a Dutch girl with inflatable shoes last week, phoned her up to arrange a date

but unfortunately she'd popped her clogs.

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Why was the cat afraid of a tree?

Because of the bark
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Why are the middle ages sometimes called the Dark Ages?

Because they had so many knights.
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A young blonde woman is distraught because she fears her husband is having an affair, so she goes to a gun shop and buys a handgun. The next day she comes home to find her husband in bed with a beautiful redhead. She grabs the gun and holds it to her own head. The husband jumps out of bed, begging and pleading with her not to shoot herself.

The blonde responds to the husband, "Shut up...you're next!"
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What kind of cars do cats drive?

Catillacs
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What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car?

Carlos.
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How many WASPs does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Silly, WASPs don't screw in a light bulb, they screw in a hot tub.
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