Why did the TV cross the road?

Because it wanted to be a flat screen.
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How do you get a dog to stop digging in the garden?

Take away his shovel
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What's the difference between Donald Trump and Ronald Reagan?

If Trump gets Alzheimers his IQ will go up.
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What do you call a bankrupt Santa?

Saint Nickel-less.
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What makes music on your hair?

A head band!

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What is a cow's favorite place?

The mooseum.
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What pine has the longest needles?

A porcupine.
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Why does the Donald sleep with a potato in his briefs?

Because he want to wake up some day as America's First Dictator.
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Why did the skeleton cross the road?

To get to the body shop.
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What is worse then having one baby screaming?

Two babies screaming!
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