Why did the TV cross the road?

Because it wanted to be a flat screen.
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Where does the snowman hide his money?

In the snow bank.
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Why don't aliens celebrate Chistmas?

Because they don't want to give away their presence.
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How many efficiency experts does it take to replace a light bulb?

None. Efficiency experts replace only dark bulbs.
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I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.

I’m just doing it for kicks.
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What do you call a clown who's in jail?

A silicon.
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Why can't lawyers do NMR?

Bar magnets have poor homogeneity.
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Why did the boy take a ladder to school?

He wanted to go to high school!
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What fish only swims at night?

A starfish.
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What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

Roberto.
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